This was a long time ago but...

I was bullied in school. I have ADHD and Aspergers, but back then people didn't really know about that... I got diagnosed later on, as an adult... so basically people just thought I was weird and didn't fit in. I was kind of immature for my age in some ways... I wasn't into fashion, makeup, boys, etc, at the age of 10. I had this crazy, wild curly hair that was super frizzy... it didn't look like nice curls, but just a ball of frizz. So kids would make fun of me for all of that. They'd gather around me on the playground and say things like, "Don't you ever brush your hair?" or "Do you think you're pretty?" 

In junior high it got worse. There were a couple of girls who made it their life's mission to torment me. Gym class was the worst because it was unstructured and not supervised too well, so they had lots of opportunities. The weird thing is I don't really remember a lot of it anymore... I remember feeling really upset, crying every day, and actually praying that something horrible would happen to those girls, even that they'd die, so I wouldn't have to be around them at school. They never physically bullied me... it was all verbal and emotional. I do remember one time some girls sprayed me with deodorant in the locker room. I hated school. The worst was the feeling of helplessness. The teachers knew, and some expressed sympathy, but nobody did anything about it. One time an art teacher did keep some kids after class and talked to them about bullying me, but they played innocent and said they had just been joking around. My parents knew about it but didn't do anything. There was this feeling of being FORCED to go to a place every day where I'd have to endure being tortured, and I couldn't do anything or get away. All through junior high school I got wicked headaches and stomachaches and had trouble sleeping, because I was so stressed out. 

In high school it really died down. I wasn't really in classes with any of the kids who had tormented me for the past four years. But by then I had lost hope of ever having friends. I'd always lacked social skills, and now I didn't even really bother to try... I was just sort of in the background. I learned to just be quiet so nobody would notice me or bother me. Later on in high school I went another route and started hanging out with the stoner kids... although I didn't smoke. They seemed more accepting of me than the other kids were, for some reason. 

As an adult, I want to do whatever I can to stop today's kids from going through this. With social media, and more violence around us, it seems to be getting worse instead of better. Today's kids are driving each other to suicide! I feel like there should be a way to save kids from that. 

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