The Side You Never Knew

Hi my name is Cyndel and, believe it or not, I was a normal kid at one point. I had friends and my family loved me and everything was good. When I got to seventh grade, that changed. I moved to a new school, because my old one had gangs and stuff related to that. So my dad pulled me out. I got moved to a private school right by my house. I figured that it would be better, because in private school you have higher expectations of behavior and attitude. That was not the case. I came to school the first day and already people were talking about me. They didn't like the way I did my makeup or hair and they judged me just by my looks. I talked to no one that day. The next day, I came to school and some boys were sitting by my desk. They asked me how it was like to have sex with 2 guys at once. I have never done that in my life, and I got furious inside. I kept calm though and asked where they heard that. They told me that the whole school knows. I didn't know how it got started but I just ignored it the first time. Later that year people started more rumors and eventually started to abuse me physically and not just emotionally. I had no friends that year because of it. I watched people stand by and watch me get hurt and watch me take the pain I didn't deserve. It hurt me more than the physical pain I was receiving. I have been called a whore, a slut, a hoe, and just about every other degrading and abusive word there is in the dictionary. Because it started with one rumor. But each day I hid my pain from others to pretend I didn't care. I took the pain and walked away every time. One day a girl was talking trash to me and I got furious and yelled at her that the stuff wasn't true. She punched me in the face and told me I wasn't worthy of living. So what I did is I went home and tried to fulfill her wish. I did self harm to myself and tried to overdose on some pills. But my attempt failed. Over the course of two years after that, I have been getting better at everything. Most of the bullying stopped, I made new friends, and I have a loving boyfriend to help me through the troubles. I know it seems like it won't get better, but it does. You have to stay strong and love yourself. Don't let anyone get to you. That's it. 
~Cyndel Kitten Stanley

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