It will get better

There is a certain emotion that is completely unexplainable. Its a mixture of embarrassment, shame, and helplessness. I never knew the impact of words until they eventually hit me. It is incredible how people can careless about things that could effect you so much. I was in eighth grade and I didn't have a lot of friends but I wasn't alone either, just average. I thought I was invisible to most people, like a filler person. I didn't mind that. I don't like attention, never have, I don't know how to handle people in social situations. Well it turns out I was noticed more than I thought, and it scared me so bad. There were times when I could hear people talk about me and laugh about me while I walk just a few feet infront of them. It made my mind wonder, what they were talking about, or if I was just coincidence that my name would be mentioned just previous to laughter. These behind the curtain talks continued for most of the year, until the curtains began to open. There was a girl who was of a higher social rank than me, and I had never even talked to her. One day she and this boy were walking down the hall just infront of me, and they noticed I was just a bit behind them. She turned around and walked up to me. I didn't know what to do, it was so unexpected that I be approached. She looked at me with this horrible smile, and said that I was ugly and that it would be better if I didn't show up to school anymore. I was also on the track team this year and it was hard to watch the whole team go to "team dinners" and " girls night" but somehow always forget to invite just me. I began to believe all the things people had made up about me, their rumors had taken over my mind. I had a lot of problems for a long time, and it wasn't until I saw past my insecurities and into others that I realized we are all the same. I saw girls worried about the same things I was. The similarities between me and these seemingly perfect and popular girls were so much that I eventually saw them as no different than myself, and that is how I gained my confidence back and reversed what had happened before.

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