Close to Breaking

Hi, I'm Mykel and I am 15 years old. In May of 2012, my father was diagnosed with Lung Cancer. I've never had many friends, but the friends I did have, I did not tell that my dad was terminally ill. I felt like I would be seen as an ''attention seeker''. I did have one girl that I was sort of friends with and she would always complain about how her life was so awful and her parents were mean to her and how she had it worse than anybody. I had known her for a few years and her parents gave her everything. She went to church, where her mother works and she was given anything she wanted whenever she wanted. I did not tell her about my dad, but when she would complain, I would quietly say that she didn't know how bad some other people had it, that her life was perfectly fine compared to others. I ended up distancing myself from her because I couldn't take listening to her complain about it anymore. When I stopped talking to her, she was mad and went at told everyone that I was being so mean to her. School let out, and I was not speaking to anyone over the summer except my two friends I was really close with. I spent everyday at the hospital with my dad, and stayed home to help my mom take care of him. On August 10th, 2012, I watched him drown in his own blood in my moms arms. My whole life was falling apart right infront of me. The next day, she texted me, telling me I was a b**** and that I was saying things about her and that she was going to beat me up and that I did all of these things. I texted her back and said "Now is not the time please leave me alone", and that was just the start. I went back to school the next week, and she was in my Biology class. She sat right behind me and talked about me where I could listen to it, I could hear it, calling me stupid and ugly and weak. I asked the teacher to be moved but she made it still where I could here her bashing me. No one would sit near me. I get looks in the hallways, Im pushed by people I dont even know, all because of how I dress and look. People call me "emo" and "cutter" because of how I dress, and she doesnt make it any easier. She tells people that I cut, that I am mentally unstable, and for what? What did I do to make her treat me like this? It's been almost a year now, and she hasn't stopped. I thought she would run out of steam and things to talk about, but she hasnt, and she wont. I had a friend tell me that they were with her and some other friends, and my friend Chy said that I hadnt been at school because I hurt my leg skating, and the girl said "YAY! She's in pain!", and when I heard that, I lost it. I was crying to my mom, begging her to let me stay home, so that I could stay away from all the people who call me names and push me around and give me looks. I want her to know what she has done to me, the depth of the pain that she has caused me. Ive hurt enough, my hearts been ripped from my chest only to be stomped on more and beat on. I can't take it anymore. Maybe, if I still had my dad, and things were back to normal, I wouldnt care that people did this, but I do. I don't want to hurt or feel sorry for myself, it makes me feel selfcentered, but I dont know where to go anymore. I dont know how to make this stop. I wont give up. I wont stop fighting this. To anyone who has read this far, dont chang yourself for others. That's what they want, for you to be like them. Difference is frowned upon in todays society, when it should be praised. Difference is good. Dont change for anyone, because whoever you are, you are perfect. Youre beautiful in everyway possible and dont let anybody, and I mean ANYBODY, tell you different.

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