I am a college student in my 3rd year. I used to be someone who swallowed every mean words that my friend said to me. It was all started in my 2nd year of high school. I used to be a person that can adapt very quick and tend to be in the spotlight with my joke or silly questions. But I guess not all of my "classmate" liked what I simply do. I didn't know how it started, but some people that call themselves "my friend" began to keep a distance from me. I didn't realize it until they just stopped talking to me all of the sudden. I was so lonely in class and decided to move away from them by sitting in the very back row of the class. I always ended up crying at home and at the end I was a person that easily getting frustrated, angry, and blue. Recently, I just found an article that it was the sign of someone that depressed. Imagine it, I was not even 17 years old and I suffered those overwhelming feeling just because other person didn't want me to steal their spotlight. I used to try really had to make people knew about my presence, I tried too hard to blend or to fit in. It was all nonsense and made me really tired, mentally. They didn't hit me or threw me with thing or did physical contact, but what they all did was just threw some mean words, accused me, talked about me behind my back, looked at me as I was a person with deadly disease and unfortunately, even the boys believed it. I skipped school, I stopped talking to anyone even my parents, I lost weights and I hate myself even more. The only thing that can distract me was book. Yes, school books. I was average student without perfect score. Every time I felt overwhelming in class, I mean to not cry or scream, I put my focus to books and actually started to read it. I felt secure because books didn't stare me with deadly gaze, didn't say anything bad and always there every time I wanted to cry. Shortly, I was the smartest girl in class. All of the sudden, everyone was talking to me, asking me to help them, choosing me as their group leader. I was so happy. But I knew something was not right. Those people only came to me every time they needed help and after that, they forgot that I am a human being. It happened until my last year in school. With my good grades, I was a student candidate to enter any colleges without any tests. I knocked every one out in my class because they couldn't make it. I was so happy that I could finally make them kneel before me after what they did all year (I know it's an evilish thing to be happy, but hell yeah). I survived from bullying until now by simply accepting who I really am. Cliche, huh? But it's true, don't push yourself too hard just because you want to be accepted by others. It hurts. Make them know that you are not like any of them, it's totally okay to be freak, crazy, insane, silly. Break the glass, break everyone's perception about you and be you. I survived because I am not putting my effort and focus to deal with thing that's actually not really important. Put away your effort and focus to do something else that important. Join clubs, help others, study, watch movies. I put my focus on books and music, this was my comfort zone. Find yours! I know I sound like a manual book, but trust me it's gonna be a phase in your life that you want to forget, erase, or rewind, but once again this is gonna be a great phase to learn, to help yourself and other or even to love yourself even more. Do it slowly, step by step. And remember, TALK. We, people, are designed to share our feeling with word. Talk to every one else, directly or via website like this. And for all that's not receiving any bullying action, PLEASE help others by just saying "Are You Okay?" or "Is There Anything Wrong?" or even "I Can Help You". Because the only thing that, WE, the victims need are somebody else's help. Don't be people that just stand, stare and pretend that it's okay to bully someone because they "deserve" it. NOBODY DESERVE BAD THING HAPPEN IN THEIR LIFE.
By writing some words below, you are showing your support and letting everyone know they're not alone.