Being Different is "bad"

Where to begin...I've been bullied since the age of 10 and have so many stories to tell, it's hard to know which one to share, so I guess I'll start with this one: I started developing acne at the age of 10 and this is when some of the problems started. After a bullying incident, my mother spoke to my school counselor. He told her mentally and maturity wise, I was about 2 years ahead of my classmates, and that I would get along better with girls in high school than the girls my own age. Not sure if this is what caused the issue or not but my thought process was different than theirs. I was also developing faster than my classmates which led to me being called names like "Bra stuffer." I found out my best friend at the time was the one who started the rumor even though it was not true, but it followed me for years. They (my classmates) didn't have to worry about acne or shopping for bra's to wear. I did. I got teased horribly for it, just because I was and looked a little different than the other kids. In fact I was "different" I liked girly clothes and makeup and I could never play sports. All the other girls didn't care about clothes or makeup or how they looked as much, all they cared about was being popular and being good at sports. That's when it got bad. When I started junior high I noticed a lot of the girls started looking some what like I did and were acting like me in 5th grade. But then they started bullying me about being too happy all the time. People said it was annoying. People told me I was fake and told me to shut up. My acne got worse from all the stress of trying to fit in. My best friends started to turn on me just because the other girls in my school were telling lies and spreading rumors. They didn't want to be friends with a person like me, a person nobody liked. Eventually in 7th grade I went to a private school because I thought it would be better. Boy was I wrong. It was worse. It was a small school of 300 kids k-8. I didn't have a single friend because all the girls decided to gang up on me in a group because I was an outsider from public school. They treated me like I was an alien. One girl even told me that everyone would be happier if I just crawled in a hole and died. Trust me I wanted to. But I didn't, I was strong. Now I am in high school. I am different. People are different. More judge mental and rude. This year has been a horrible year for me. I have been called every name in the book. I have even had people ask me if I was pregnant because someone said that I was. My best friend went crazy on me because her boyfriend said I was flirting with him. Lies. I didn't even like her boyfriend and didn't want him, and I would never do that to a friend. She is currently turning every friend I still have against me for something I didn't even do. I have been slapped this year, punched in the stomach and slammed up against a locker, all done by boys. I have even feared that a classmate would kill me because I feel so hated. I am also verbally assaulted daily and anyone that says, "Words don't hurt" is wrong. My mom always says "Stay strong baby, you only have a few years left." That's what I'm doing. I'm staying strong. She also tells me, "High school doesn't matter. But you have to survive high school in order to see that it didn't matter." U have to make it though in order to look back on it and realize it didn't matter. You won't keep in touch with most of the kids you attended school with. Once you graduate, these kids cannot and will not set the course for the rest of your life. What you do with your life is up to you. They will no longer impact you. So that's what I focus on, the future and the day I can walk away and not look back.

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