When I grew up in the 90s where Autism and Aspergers was hardly recognize. Well, at least where I live. I was in and out of the Children's Hospital and Counselors of every sort for me to try to verbally communicate during my Elementary years. It wasn't so bad, cause I was only called names and didn't seem to bother me.

When I hit Middle School, it was on a whole other level. I could communicate with everyone, but poorly. My sentences were not structured, sounded different and there would be frequent stutters/stammers as well as long pauses in between words. The people I use to hang out with and would call/consider friends with, all left me by the 6th grade because it was uncool of them to even look my with if it was not to hurt me. The rumors started first and was constantly spread to who ever was new to the school so that I could not even talk to them. No matter where I went, I was always laughed at and pushed, punched, and slammed against the lockers. This made me revert back to not willing to talk at all, in which was horrible because I couldn't say anything. It was horrible because then I couldn't report what was happening to me, and when I did talk or when someone would ask question about who I was. I would lie. I hated, hated being myself so I would lie to people to make some image of another person than myself.

It was only until my 7th grade health class that we were on the topic of suicide. I pulled my teacher aside after class and told her there wasn't a day that went by that I thought of killing myself. Cause even when I came to the house I lived in, my brother, sister, and father would not make my days any easier. I felt so trapped. My 7th grade health teacher had told my mother about what I said to her. After that, she took this matter to the school. I was surprised that they were willing to help me. They put me into different classes away from my attackers.  It was the same subject class, but it was like I could breathe again.

By the time I reached high school, the physical abuse stopped but not the verbal abuse. The verbal abuse from the ones that have spread rumors, called me horrible names, and made sure that there older friends knew of what they would say to me and make me feel alone.

My story isn't as horrible as others, for also in high school, I became friends with other outcasts because they accepted me. I wanted to share my story for not only the Autistic/Aspergers, but for everyone. it does get better.