I'm done being a toy for everyone.

 Teasing, fighting, confrontations are all part and parcel of growing years. The situation gets tedious when it takes an ugly turn. Like tormenting, abusing verbally or intentionally trying to threaten the younger or the weaker child. It is called as bullying if repeated over and again with an intention to hurt. It can be verbal, physical or psychological in nature. It can range from calling names to spreading rumors or even extorting money or other treasured possessions.

For more than half of my life the behaviour of bullying and the act of just teasing me for a stupid reason have followed me. It started at an age as early as preschool, everyone will just make fun of me becuase the way I talked, walk, or expressed ideas (opinions) that some people didn't agree with, however, as time passed the confrontations between peers intensify year by year. I always thought there was various reasons behind this kind of aggressive behaviour from my peers, but sometimes it came to a point were the idea of facing them face to face was not on my plans. Often i was very shy and introvert and weak to talk to conselours or parents about this problem, but one day I decided that it was enough of people making fun of me and just taking me as a joke and I took bravery from inside and talk to an adult about the problems I was facing.

Sometimes bullies try to attrach the attention of others in a negative manner, it was always me the one that will try to make fun of the most. As the comments from other students became to build up my character started to change, I was more aggressive and unpolite to certain type of people, sometimes i will hurt my own friends. I was lossing self confidence on myself, and started to lost confidence on others as well. Sometimes I wouldn't talk to my parents or grandparents about the bad actions that students were giving me. It came to a point were my parents realize that I was having problems because I try to avoid school and I repeatedly complain of false aches, also, because I frequent cry or got upset. But years pass and I saw to the pass and just laugh now because I guess that I build was building a thicker skin and more tough soul.

My parents and my grandparents were there when I most needed them.
They identify the prolem as soon as possible and they try to restored the confidence that I had lost in previous cases. It was very important to them to make me understand that I my words were listened and my feelings are respected. They try very hard to pay attention to me and to each others as I narrate the events and the effects that bullying was making in my life. Sometimes it will be hard for my parents to identify the gravity of the situation and any loose thread that may lead to serious consequences. Sometimes I will just be in bed thinking of how I can end my suffering and I thought, " Why not cutting myself? or shoot myself?" but what I think it keeps me going now is the power and the believe that others have on me and the lost hope and confidence that I had lost was been restored and put back into me. Seriously, I never thought that I could win a battle against bullying but I guess everything is possible in this life.

Over years now I came to a outstanding conclusion that all those years of suffering and the bad attitudes that other people will give me will be just to help me get stronger and have a better life. I give thanks to god because he was there in every step of my way.

I know that is hard to overcome something that is so bad as bullying but remember that you have the support of your friends, family and everyone that loves you. Remember to put your head up and never look down, because you are who you are and nobody should have the power to change that. 

“No, you don't know what it's like when nothing feels all right, you don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No, you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life”
- ~Bryan Avila~

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