Ever since I was young I have been a sad child. During my younger years of age I was shy and still am. I remember burying my face into my fathers shirt when going out into public. But I also remember not having many friends, or as some would say no friends. The bullying started in second grade as something I did not pay attention to much but progressively got worse over the years. I remember going to recess every day and sitting on that swing alone throughout both third and fourth grade. The difference in those two years is the change in my peers attitude. Third grade kids did not mind being around me and did not make rude and disrespectful comments. Each day in fourth grade I would come home only to tell my mom it went the same, it was bad. I was a misfit, a victim of bullying but it was just the beginning. I came into fifth grade realizing hell was waiting in front of me. Not only were my classmates hurtful to me but my teacher. Someone you are supposed to count on to be there to help you and protect you. I remember kids constantly harassing me because of the way I looked or the things I said. I remember the mocking and horrid laughter coming out of each and every one of them. I remember the tears that I constantly tried keeping in. And my teacher who both insulted me and the way I looked at life. He called me a whiner because I constantly wasn't able to hold back my tears. I remember one day it had got so bad, I walked out of class, sat down near my locker, and cried my eyes out. Sixth grade was not as bad, I had made a new group of friends, it may have not been the best group but I had friends who cared for me. Seventh grade was the great until during the middle of the school year my mother had fallen in love, got pregnant, and here we are moving in to this mans house. I got to this school and was welcomed by many people. I was instantly what everyone was talking about, weather it was about what I was wearing and who I was. I ended up dating quite a few boys. I dated this one boy named Tommy, at first it was just a little crush, but then my heart really got crushed. He made up that he was going to be sleeping over at my house and told a few of his friends. The rumor out and there was no way for me to stop the rumor. He ended up breaking up with me and leaving me with the reputation of an ugly slut. My own friends turned on me because of him. My own reputation turned to garbage. He made people think I am something I am not. I was known as a slut, whore, loser, etc. No matter what I said I was still shut out. Towards the end of the year I became very good friends who is now my best friend with a girl named Vanessa. We went through the whole summer and eighth grade together making tons of great and fun memories. But eighth grade was the one year I kept most things to myself. It wasn't all fun and games for me. I dealt with both depression and bullying. My thighs soon were covered in cuts and each time I had a problem I would turn to the blade. Weather it was because of someones rude comment or because of my past. One night I thought I was done, I picked up the pill bottle, and attempted suicide. I was relieved to know it would all be over soon. That was until I woke up the next morning knowing I had failed. I hated getting up those mornings and making my way to school. Sitting there in class feeling as if I was alone even though sitting around me were 20 other students. I hated the fact I had to listen to people call me ugly, slut, whore, lesbian, etc. And I did not do anything about it I just let it sit there and all sink in knowing once I get home I would be able to let it all out and have the blade relieve all my pain. My best friend one day saw those cuts and looked at me and told me I need to stop. I told her I was trying and her exact words were "well it doesn't look like it". It feels like I no longer know who she is considering she is constantly putting me down. I constantly bring her up and compliment her. While she constantly brings me down and makes a rude comment about the way I look or the things I say. My father says she is just jealous of me. i bring myself to tears when I look at her and have to leave the room knowing I will never be as beautiful as her. Weather its the length of my hair, the style of my clothes, or my natural features. This summer has been hell. With my therapist leaving after all I have told her, getting kicked out of my mother's house twice because of the fights we get in, constantly not getting along with my mother, and the four attempts of suicide. But now it is up to me to change my future and help others in need. I am a survivor and I am willing to help others in need. My name is Serena Harden.