I almost ruined my whole life because of what they did to me. I was driven to take stupid decisions. Why am I embarrassed? Why am I ashamed of myself? Self conscious everyday now? It's easy to answer that. I was scared to admit it to myself that I had been a victim of their game that someone had been able to harass me and humiliate me time after time. That they were able to make me feel the pity for myself everywhere I went. I couldn't even find comfort in my own house knowing all those insults and comments were someone online haunting me for the rest of my life. I was only in the 6th grade I didn't understand why this was happening to me? They would tell me to go on eBay and buy myself a life because I had none. Telling me to go and kill myself time after time. Telling me to go and slice my wrists open and just die time after time. Saying horrible names to me, spreading false rumors about me to everyone at school look at me like I was out of this world and not in a good way. I remember I would come and lock myself in my room and cry to myself about how much I hated myself how much I would just like to die. Saying I was a complete disaster is probably an understatement. Not only did I have to face this at school and home but I also had to face my life with anxiety disorders and depression. I don't like to admit this but it got to the point where I physically harmed myself. I started to self harm wanting to escape reality. Most of what happened afterwards is blank in my head because I have tried to block this from my head after the years but I remember I did ask myself was I going to be selfish and stupid enough to let what some people say and did to me, going to make me kill myself? Was I going to give into their stupidity? No because I am a better person than them and always will be. Had I spoken up then to someone would things be different now? Would I still be facing my life as someone insecure,self conscious, facing anxiety disorders and depression, would I have self harmed? I truly can't say things would have or wouldn't have been different. Because of my decisions in how to deal with this I hold the scars on my skin forever remembering me of what I did and that I should stay strong always, but just because I have had this tragic moment in my life doesn't mean I can't use this experience and help someone else out there. Make a difference in someones life and help someone speak and stop them from doing something permanent just because they are going through something temporarily. Things do get better, don't believe me then ask everyone on this website things do get better you just need to want to change and get help. Please do. Be a voice. Speak up. Make a change. Help save someone out there going through something like this. I was a victim of bullying. A victim of self harm. And I wish I had had someone there for me to help me through everything I went through. This is my story and I stand proud saying even though I was a victim of bullying I am still here still living and fighting for others.
By writing some words below, you are showing your support and letting everyone know they're not alone.