I usually don't open up about this.. Well partially because I don't use it as an excuse, but I have been a victim of bullying. In my 15 years of life, I have been surrounded by the greatest family members who have taught me to be strong, and stand for what I believe in. In this world, defending for your beliefs, or what you feel is right is not necessarily taken to heart. Instead, people use it as an advantage to argue, contradict, or even bully you. I've always been a curious girl who seeks to help people. My bullying began in middle school...as it does for most people. I came into my new school with two friends I thought would never change. After about a month, they both went separate ways, while I was still searching for one. One of the girls, lets call her Phoebe, discovered that she had the potential of becoming popular and promised me she would "introduce" me to her friends if I did what she asked. Me being the desperate, attention seeking, friend loving girl I was, I did. For days on end, I was responsible for carrying her things, placing things in her locker and delivering messages to her crushes...I know right..WEIRD. But in all honesty I didn't mind. One morning, she handed me her "expensive" coat and told me to carry it around. I got distracted by other things and set it down. As soon as I left second period, she accused me for throwing her coat on the music building because I was jealous. I was forced to buy her two vests from Wal-Mart and delivered it to her the next morning on the bus. She then decided that it would be a great idea to introduce me to her friends. Once we arrived at the school, she approached her friends as I trailed behind her with my giant guitar case for band and my books, haha. She then turned and looked at me with a startled look on her face. "Why are you always following me!?" she asked which was when I said "Because you told me you would introduce me to your friends." Without hesitation, she slapped me across my face, and knocked my books out of my hand. I felt so alone, confused and devastated after that day especially because I couldn't think of a reason anyone would do that to their own friend, until I realized, shes not. She was only using me for her advantage. For the remainder of my year, I was continuously taunted, teased for unknown reasons. Well a group of kids did tease me for being black so I guess that's one..WOW.. I would sit and "read" a book while kids looked for reasons to bully me. Eventually, Phoebe announced that she was bi-sexual because it seemed to become a trend at that school as well as cutting. I never told my parents what went on at school because I never felt it was necessary. Why would I want to make my parents worry about something while others went through so much worse? This thought has helped me throughout my years. The only thing that got me through all the suffering, was the thought of the people actually suffering with things like famine, economic issues, abandonment, even rape. It didn't help me feel better for who I was, but it became my goal to make a change. For we all have a purpose in this world. Being bullied is not an excuse to cut, hurt those around you, or even take your own life. If anything, it has helped me find a purpose. Fortunately, those years are gone and I actually look back and as cliche as it sounds, I laugh. I go to a much better school now, with awesome fiends where bullying isn't an issue; rather the issue is figuring out what college to go to. "well, then easy for you to say", you might think. But I'm just an example of how things DO and WILL get better. Whether you're Christian, Buddhist, Islamic, Hindu, atheist, gay, straight, we should all believe in one thing. OURSELVES. Don't blame yourselves for whats going on in your life. Instead, make it the reason why you want to change the world. Be the change. Most importantly, be yourself. <3
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