Hi . I'm Serena , I'm 15 and going into 10th grade . I've been bullied since 5th grade . I started at a new school that year , and it was difficult for me because , it was the first private school I've ever been too , and I was scared I wouldn't fit in . We'll I was right , from the first day I had people making fun of me for being short , ugly , for the color of my hair (which is strawberry blonde) my first name was stupid , i had asthma so I couldn't run fast in gym , I just wasn't good enough . I would put up with it everyday , and come home crying , I stayed there until 7th grade . 6th wasn't any better , I grew a little taller , my hair got healthier , and my asthma started getting better under control , we'll it got worse that year , I still came home everyday crying , I broke my foot because some of the "popular" girls thought it would be funny to trip me down the stairs , and laugh about it . The rest of the year kinda just went by , we'll 7th grade was the worst . I Still came home everyday crying , but in march of that year I was beat up in aftercare and I kinda just let it go ... We'll I didn't tell my mom until later that night , I was babysitting and I was playing with the kids and I passed out and when I hit the floor , the girl , grabbed my phone and called my mom , and my mom took me to the hospital . When we got there , they said I had a broken rib and the bone around my heart was broken , and I've had some heart problems since then . So my mom pulled me out of school and I homeschooled the rest of the year , the summer of that year . Which was 2012 I met a guy named Mason , he was the most amazing person I had ever met , I fell in love with him . We were together for almost 4 months , but on June 4th , I lost him to suicide , he was just like me , I didn't know what the word "depressed" really meant until after he died , all I knew was that I sad . We'll anyways I was depressed for a while after that , I got diagnosed with type 1 depression after that , and I constantly for made fun of for being "sad" all the time . After that the summer kinda just went by . We'll I started 8th grade that next year at kate bond middle , that was hell for me , I hated it , the first week I was there , there was a rumor going around that I was pregnant , the next month went by and I had guys asking me what $10 , $20 , $5 could get them , they would throw quarters at me asking me if they could get head behind the school , even the "sweetest" boys in school would do it . We'll in January I transferred to Cordova middle because I moved , we'll I didn't really have any problems there , it was actually the best time in school I had in a while , we'll I did miss katebond at the same time , because I missed my really good friends like , Katt , Kenzie , Lauren , and more , but at Cordova I had great friends too , like Sarah , she was my Bestfriend there . We'll anyways in March I started dating katts older brother Caleb , and omg , Caleb and I have been thru hell and back together , we've dated 8 times now and we're together this day , and I'm so glad I have him in my life , but what keeps me even happier is his sister kaitlyn , she's my overall Bestfriend , she's just amazing in everyday and she's more like a sister to me than anything . We'll , the summer after that wasn't that bad . Now 9th grade .... I didn't know who I was anymore , and I'm gonna go ahead and state this , I stayed homeschooled my freshman year . We'll the beginning was alright , we'll in January , I went on a church retreat , and my friend Kevin , have me a piggy back ride ... and a kid that went to school with my boyfriend (Caleb) told everyone I cheated on him or whatever , and I had a lot of people text me , kik me , they messaged me over Facebook , telling me to kill myself for what I did , that I was worthless , and Caleb and I fought , and I couldn't take it anymore . So January 26th 2014 I overdosed trying to commit suicide , I had no thoughts on my mind , I didn't think about how it would effect others , I just wanted to die , we'll I texted my mom and told her I loved her that I just couldn't do it anymore , and that I hoped she would forgive me , we'll she tried everything to get in touch with me , and she had my neighbor break in and I cried in her arms until the EMT's arrived and i was scared , I didn't know wether to regret what I did or be happy that I might die . We got to the hospital at 3 pm and I was there until 11 pm that night ... They sent this guy in to talk to me , and he decided whether or not I needed to go to lakeside or stay home .. We'll he sent me off to lakeside immediately , I was there for 9 days , it was the longest nine days of my life . The day I got out , I found out I was losing my grandfather , he suffered from Alzheimer's for 11 years , and I stayed at his house for 2 weeks , and I lost him February 17th .. I couldn't cry , I didn't know how to feel . We'll I didn't cry until the day of his funeral , I lost it . I cried for 30 minutes without taking a breath . We'll nothing happened for a while after that , things just calmed down . Then all of a sudden about a month or 2 ago I got this message , it was anonymous , telling me all this crap , saying my grandfather was probably happy to be dead rather then be related to me , and I lost it again , i went off , the called my mom a whore for being pregnant , and after that I deleted it . I haven't had any problems since then . I know this is long , but I'm still nervous about posting , only my close friends know all of this ... But i guess here goes .. I'm Serena , I'm happy at the moment but still depressed .. That's my story , and I'm proud to be a survivor .
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