Everyone has a Story, everyone has a name. We all live different lives like a game. Most people want to be known for their name, I’m different. I want to be known for my story, and my battle. My name Is Jada Hodges. I’m fifteen years old, sophomore, and I attend Beaver Dam High School. And this is my story about the constant battle I am facing and have been since 7th grade. You always see in movies how highschools such a big terrible place filled with jocks, preps, nerds and inbetween. And how you’re lucky if you make it a day without getting shoved in a locker, or called names. Well I didn’t have to wait until highschool to see how cruel this world can be. I can’t recall exactly when it started, but 7th grade, I started having normal girl drama, you know, she’s friends with her, and her, but not her and so on. But it got a little more extreme from there, I started to get called monkey. And first it was whatever I guess. I had other problems at the moment. Then I realized it started happening more and more. And it’s not like it was a certain group of people, it was everyone. I didn’t get why they were calling me it, or what I did to be called it. I couldn’t post things on facebook without comments saying “monkey face” and “stupid monkey slut” honestly, half of the things didn’t even make sense. I remember this like it was yesterday though, It was the tenth person, and they were going down the stairs and as they passed me I heard the words “look at the stupid monkey” I didn’t even know how to react. So I went the principal. He told me to make a list of who was doing it, so I did and gave it to him. The next day I got a pass to go down to his office. I got in there and sat down as he explained that he was going to call each student down and talk to them with me and asked if it was ok with me, not knowing what I was doing I agreed. Next thing I know, one by one, in front of me, each student got lectured, as he explained what the meaning of monkey was and how it was originated, I was astonished, I didn’t even know myself what it meant. I saw the words hit them, like a slap in the face, I could see what it did. Which as well brought tears to my eyes. I thought it was done there and it was just a little phase, I was wrong. As I rolled into eighth grade, I promise I’d have a better year, less drama, more friends, better grades. It started out okay, I had friends, my grades weren’t bad, and life was just good. Well as the year went on, I started to realize, the monkey thing was back to haunt me, slowly it got around and started getting worse, more and more people found out and thought it was funny. On top of that, I lost every single friend I had. I found myself desperate for people to sit by at lunch, to talk to and so on. I just tried brushing it all off. That summer I was back to my loud, outgoing self. Living life to the fullest, excited to be a highschooler. Well ninth grade rolled in, and I thought I was ready, I learned to not put up with peoples crap. It worked. But soon, it bit me in the back. I found my grades back where they were, and alls I could focus on was what other people were saying. One day I looked at my phone to find a picture of something someone posted on facebook reading “ Jada’s a monkey faced bitch who belongs at the zoo and not at school” it hit me so hard. I didn’t even know what to do. I went to the principal about it, didn’t do much. Then it started hitting me from left to right, monkey this and monkey that. I started to loose it. Until I realized I just need to show them I’m stronger. Until I got in a fight, I have no clue what it was even about or why I was fighting with the person I was. After that, it hit the ceiling. On facebook was posted “that monkey faced bitch got her ass kicked” and “if you didn’t see the monkey get her ass beat you missed it and if you don’t know who the monkey is, it’s Jada Hodges” I cried. Alls I could do was cry. But I couldn’t let them know they won. So I held my ground. It just kept escalating, soon I found that no matter where I went I was called monkey. I had random people I didn’t even know mock me with monkey noises. People were saying I escaped the petting zoo. It’s all just some big joke to them. I get into tenth grade, this year. And finally thought after 3 years it’d be done. And just as I started to assume things, there it goes again. I get called a stupid nigger in math. How do you even react to something as extreme as that? I get called an ugly black nigger at the snowball dance. I go to class, I’m mocked with monkey noises in the back of the class. I stand there at lunch and get called a stupid black ass. I’m walking in the hall, I get called monkey faced bitch. I’m standing at a locker, I get called monkey. I’m leaving a basketball game, I here “run monkey run” I guess it’s all a big joke to people. They don’t see what it does to a person. I used to be the loud, outgoing, bubbly girl. Who everyone wished they were as strong as me. Do you see me now? I come to school in sweats and baggy shirts, I have 3 close friends. And I probably cry at least 2 nights a week. I feel like we could have guest speaker, on guest speaker, and nothing stops. People don’t see it’s nothing but ignorance. There’s have been so many deaths due to bullying. And everytime someone dies, someone suddenly wants to do something? It seems these days you have to die to be heard. People are hurting themselves and others. But it continues to happen. Imagine having a little brother or sister, being bullied to the point that they don’t want to live anymore. I have read stories about eleven year olds killing themselves because of bullying. Eleven years old. Barley old enough to comprehend life. It’s sickening. And think about the parents. They have to live with the fact they’re son with always been eleven years old. And didn’t get to do anything with his life. What do people think while saying the words they say. Imagine if you were the cause of someones death? Or having to loose your bestfriend because you couldn’t do anything. It doesn’t matter how many people we have tell us bullyings bad, people are going to do it. But what matters now is it’s happening In your own school. I’m just one voice of many who are too scared to speak up. But I’m sick of constantly running to the office when it happens. I’m sick of seeing people hurt. I’m sick of everyone sitting around running theirs mouths thinking that what comes out doesn’t matter. You can’t take it back once you say it. I’m sick of everyone sitting around doing nothing about it. Lastly I’m sick of constantly crying nightly because people are ignorant. No matter how much punishment some people get they’re continue to do it. I’ve wanted to leave so many times. But if I do that, they all win. They all get away with knowing that they got to me. And how people find pleasure out of that, I will never understand. I just can’t grasp the thought that people think it’s fun, or funny to beat someone down to nothing, even if it’s not physically. Words can hurt just as bad or even worse. A punch will be a punch, it will turn into a bruise and fade eventually. But words with forever haunt you, they don’t go away like a bruise. And maybe it’s because I’ve been through it, or seen what it does to a person. But it’s not worth it. What do you get out of it? Being the reason someone killed themselves? Or the reason someone cuts themselves. Or making that one guy snap and stab someone? Or maybe the reason the girls you constantly make fun of starves herself to try to be perfect. Bullying causes all that and so much more. Some people do it because they’re hurting themselves, or because it happens to them and they want the focus off of them and onto someone else. A lot of people are just mad at the world and don’t know what to do about it, so they take it out and whoever they lay an eye on. I’ve done what I can, I’ve tried ignoring it, I’ve had meetings, I’ve tried telling the principal. But after so long, you feel like nothing but a snitch. Word gets around and it starts getting worse again. There’s only do much you can do for people who couldn’t care less. I’ve changed because of what I’ve been through, I’ve put up a wall, and blocked out what I can. But it’s hard when you’re surround by all these people 8 hours of your day and you can’t just hide. Most bullying situations are a group of people targeting one person, but in my case, it’s the whole school. It’s not one group. So how do you control that many people? It’s even more saddening when you try to talk about it, and alls people do is laugh. It causes you to slowly shut down even more. You feel smaller than everyone. It takes so much mental power to build yourself up and show what you’re made of. The only person you can help is yourself in that case. I’ve been through 3 years of what seems like complete hell, but I’m coming back, better than ever. I just want my voice to be heard, and my story taken to heart. Take it the way you want, it just needs to be even more known that it already is. I don’t want it to get to the point where someone has to die, because no one spoke up. As I build myself back up, I refuse to let anyone break me down. I’m stronger than that, and I know for sure. I will show you that what you’re doing doesn’t make you a better person. And I will prove you all wrong.
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