It was a long time ago that I was in elementary school, but now with my first born starting school, my past experiences come flooding back.  For the first time this year my four yr old came home using words such as "Loser", "Stupid" and "Shut up", words that we don't use in this home, he must have gotten it from school and I just hope people did not use those words on him.  

When I was a kid, there was no name for bullying.  Kids were just being kids.  It was because I was shy or my grades were not good or I was doing something to provoke the other kids considering I was not good in sports and I developed very early.  Never mind the fact that I was a twin and twins tend to be shy and my poor grades were a result of being bullied.  So, there was no one I could really go to and talk about this because the teachers would always find some way to blame me.  My parents still lived in the time when kids are just being kids and so I had little support.  My sister was not as sensitive as I was and was able to get through it quickly.  Well, today, we know more and I hope my son never has to go through what I went through.  In grade 6, I had my desk knocked over in front of the whole class, I was picked last for teams in gym class, I was called stupid and kids would put glue under my nose and tell me to sniff it because i was on drugs. My bra strap was broken because the boys kept pulling it, I got hit and punched in class sitting at my desk.  Well, high school was different for me and all the people that used to bully me wanted to date me.  Like the ugly duckling, I blossomed and became very pretty.  Well, we were all from a low income level, that was the school we went to, to this day, it has very poor ratings.  But, the main bullies that bullied me are not married, one still lives at home with his father, another does drugs and is not married and another is not married and does not have children.  In teachers college, when doing a practicum, I met up with my old bully and he had very bad teeth, ripped clothing and worked in a shop selling car parts and he was living in a hotel and telling me with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth how he loves his life because he has many different girlfriends, some have boyfriends or are married but that is okay with him etc.  He did not realize how ridiculous he sounded.  Needless to say that my bullies are doing worse than I am.  None are married with children or have amazing careers.  I have a family and I am lucky to be a stay at home mom and I still have an education.  So, I have learned not to be so mad because they turned out to have a lot of issues of their own.

I just don't want my son and daughter to go down the same road I did.  I see signs in my sons behaviour of passivity, not standing up for himself and he cries easily.  So, I would like to give him the tools to not be a victim.  But how?