Although I do not receive much negativity as much as I did when I was younger, there are still times when it happens, and thankfully from my past experiences I have learned to become a stronger person. But without a doubt it still hurts, and bullying is absolutely NEVER necessary.
I was teased in elementary school, and I never fit in. I found myself alone a lot during recess. I tried making friends, but I was always shy and quiet and it was hard for me to come out of my shell. People just thought of me as weird, especially when middle school came around and I was going through a phase where I was depressed and never felt like I was good enough.
I didn't have many friends in school. I couldn't afford the trendy clothes to fit in, I didn't even really know who I even was myself. I was lost, alone, and felt like I had no one.
Thankfully I made some friends in high school, but I was still considered the weird outcast girl. I was constantly put down for what I wore, and how I did my hair and makeup, even though that was how I expressed myself (I later on become a licensed hair stylist and went to LA for makeup school). I would be walking through the hallways at school and kids would call out "HAIRSPRAY!" I remember at a Candlelighting Ceremony a kid tried to set my hair on fire.
I would come home every day relieved to be out of school, I absolutely hated going. It didn't stop there though. I would get anonymous facebook messages of people making fun of me and putting me down. I am just grateful to have had a few best friends that I could be myself around and have them not judge me. Thankfully it has been almost 7 years and I am still friends with these girls!
Fast forward to after high school, here I am, doing hair and makeup for fashion shows and photo shoots. I lived my dream in California (one day I will be returning), I even started modeling! I focused on making myself happy and trying not to care what people thought of me. It is definitely hard though and there are still times where I get prank calls, along with anonymous facebook, tumblr, or email messages.
I am still trying to rise above this, and it certainly can be hard. However I want to spread anti-bully awareness wherever I can and I want to become a spokesperson some day for the project. I want to spread love and light and as much positivity as I can and try to unite everyone and bring us all together. "I'm dreaming of a place where we can live without the hate, where unity is key and we no longer have to wait." ~
Courtnie Marie Ross
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