I had a pretty normal early childhood, for growing up in the 60's, in a small city in the "Live Free or Die" State of New Hampshire. I was the Great Grandson of Italian and French immigrants that came here in search of a better life. I came from a perfect family of four children, two boys and two girls and Mom & Dad and wearing home made tweed long jacket and cap that my Grandmother made from old clothes. When i turned 14, old enough to go to church, my mother and dad would take us, and we sat way back in the third seat in. I was a fairly good looking kid, and i guess my ministers son thought he had a right to sexually abuse me regularly in the downstairs vestry during church services. As i got older, the abuse only got worse. All through grammar school, right into Jr. High School the kids started taunting me and calling me names like "Homo, Queer, Ck.Sr." among other really hurtful and mentally scarring words" and it just got worse. It progressed into physical abuse throughout the years, Punching, Kicking, Name Calling and sometimes all three. When i would go to football games, the kids would stalk me. They'd come up to me, and one kid would get down on his hands and knee's behind me, and the one in front would push me over and i'd hit the ground hard. This happened over and over, and no one ever said a word, not even the adults nearby. I guess they thought it was funny too. In High School it was the same thing all over again, the same bunch that had taunted me for years were there too! Thank goddess for the few friends i did have, to keep me somewhat occupied with life as much as they could, but for many years i found my solace in the woods with fairy folk and their world. Or self punishing behavior because i thought at times it was all my fault, i brought it upon myself because of the way i acted. But again, my close friends made me realize before i graduated high school that it was me who i was acting like, the only one i needed to impress was myself! And i was a kind, caring, sentimental, selfless person that everyone should enjoy being my friend. I think i never would have survived without them, they were my rock, and i knew i could go to them if i needed uplifting or a laugh. After i got out of school, it really did get better! I started to surround myself with people who did accept me for who i am, not what i did in bed. For once in my life i thought i was free of ridicule forever! Over 30+ years since i was taunted and teased and called names. A few months ago, when i was out working with my plants, two ten year old boys were playing next door. And within fifteen to twenty minutes, they started with the same old crap "Homo, Queer" but this time, they had an authority figure nearby, and when i explained to him what had happened, i never saw the kids again. I know it will never end, at least not in my lifetime, and most likely it will play a part in all the rest of our days. In little pockets, where people are still narrow minded, and no one to tell them their thinking, actions and words are no longer wanted, needed or accepted! That's my story, and i'm sticking to it!
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