I've been teased ever since Pre-School . I'm 16 now and am in 9th grade. I am homeschooled because the bullying got worse. When I was in Pre-School I would hang out with my brother and his friends, they were in a gang, so because of that I was picked on constantly by older kids who didn't exactly "get along" with my brother and his friends. I moved and went to a different school for kindergarden. Kids would yell at me calling me fat because I was heavier than the rest of this kids, I have a thyroid problem. They would tease me because I didn't have the perfect clothes. Most of the time I was by myself because I was shy and withdrawn, so everyone thought I was a freak. If something was broken or a project of theirs was destroyed they would blame it on me. This continued till the end of 3rd grade. I ended moving again and went to a school that was closer to me for 4th - near the end of the 5th grade year. I went to an all Mexican school and was bullied because I wasn't mexican. During my 4th grade year I tried fitting in with people and nothing good happened. I was a little overweight, didn't have the best clothes, and I couldn't take a shower every day(I'm poor). People would always yell at me and call me fat, white trash, nasty, trailer trash, white girl, peaguin, fatass, gumball, excercise ball, whale, and many more names. I would be walking down the halls and they would slam me into walls and lockers and they would make sure my head would hit it. Sometimes the teachers would be in the halls and they wouldn't do anything. I would have basketballs, footballs, baseballs, pencils, markers, sharpies, rocks(all sizes), whatever they could find thrown at my face. I would be tripped down the stairs and they would always hit me when they had the chance. I started going to a support group there and they would pair people up so they could support each other, but I only got humiliated. Even the teachers and the person who ran the support group bullied me all the time. I tried being really nice to people, hoping it would change something, but it never did. The whole school hated me. They would even follow me home and throw things at me and tell me to go kill myself, that I was a waste of air. Things kept getting worse, so me and my mom moved again. I ended up getting held back at the new school I started going to. Things started going okay there. Then they took a turn and people were bullying me again for being fat. When I hit 5th grade I befriended a girl that had some bad problems. I thought she was a really good friend and gave her all my trust. Me and her always got into fights, almost every other day. One day she came up to me asking if I wanted to go out with her "brother", I said yes. After awhile me and him got into a fight and he "committed suicide." I was extremly sad and started going down hill. Around 2years later I find out he's alive and we started going back out and things were going good. Then I got a text saying that he truly did kill himself. After that I just went further down hill and in to depression. After a couple more years went by I find out it was all her. She posed as a guy and did everything. While I had that going on I was dealing with an abusive stepdad. He acted like he was really nice and made me and my mom believe it. A couple weeks before they got married he started showing his true colors to us. They were always fighting, every single night and day. After they got married things got worse. He started hitting me and I never told my mom. He started touching me and would kiss my neck and everything, I never said anything to anyone. He was an alcoholic and a drugie. We sent him to rehab hoping he would get better, but things only got worse. After he got out and came back him him and my mom were fighting even more. Every minute of everyday, it seemed to never end. I would run away to a friends house or going walking around town and put up with bullies and being threatened so I didnt have to deal with the fighting. He started threatening us and would tell us "I'm going to drive the truck through the living room and kill you", "If you leave me I'm going to kill you and kill myself." It got to the point where he went up to my mom with a knife and threatened her. It got worse, one time he ended up starting a chainsaw next to my head. He also started stalking me everywhere I went, to school, to a friends, park, skate park, just everywhere. Finally my mom filled for a divorce but that didnt stop much. I was going through what my friend did to me, my abusive ex-stepdad, and bullying that I needed away to release my hurt. I started cutting really bad. At first I didnt care who saw and ended up getting caught. After that I started hiding it. Kids at school found out and started calling me emo and would scream down the hall saying "hey you dropped your razor!" I ended up going back to the school I was in when I was in kindergarden. I was still cutting at the time and bullying got worse but I had some friends. I always got called nasty and I got teased a lot because I ended getting Mono from sharing a drink with a girl. People would avoid me in the hallway and say "Ew stay away from away from me. I don't want your disease!" That school year came to an end and it was time for highschool. I was forced to go to school with all the bullies I have ever had. I had some friends there and thought the bullies forgot about me so I thought everything was going to be fine. I was wrong. The bullying got so bad a kid held an exacto knife to my throat and asked me "Do you want to fucking die?" I didnt tell anyone till about month later. Barely anyone believed me, and here came most of the school hating me again. The school ended up siding with the kid who held the knife to my throat. I started cutting even more and started starving myself. I was pulled out of school. A couple moths later and doctor saw my cuts and asked me about them, I denied them. Within that hour I asked to get some help. I was sent to rehab for a week. I met people in there I could relate to and who would listen to me(this was about two months ago). I met two good friends in there and I met my boyfriend in there. I learned who were my true friends and that I wasn't alone. I began trusting again and stopped being withdrawn. I have stopped cutting and still am having struggles with eating. I still have urges to cut but I apply my coping skills that help me work through them. After everything I have found HOPE again. I want to be alive and see what life has instore for me now. Never give up hope, You Are Not Alone.
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