Now, I've been bullied for almost my entire school career, and on top of that I'm constantly bullied at home by my sisters, but I've always been able to ignore it. However, when I got into 8th grade, I was public enemy #1. See, some kid started a rumor that I was dangerous. They said that I wanted to blow up the school and that I conversed with ghosts and demons. utterly ridiculous. But...then everybody believed it, all because I was the quiet kid that talked to nobody and wore almost all black. I ignored it at first, but then even that was impossible.
Kids came up to me at lunch, people I didn't even know. They would ask me, "Do you want to blow up the school?" Every time my answer was no, but everyday people would keep on asking me ludicrous questions. I noticed that more and more people avoided me in the halls. students would even turn and go the opposite direction because apparently it was bad luck to cross my path. Soon, even the TEACHERS avoided me. Teachers wouldn't call on me for anything, wouldn't look at me, wouldn't take up extra papers from me, purposely lowered my grades, reassigned my seat to the back of the class (even though I couldn't see well, as I didn't have my glasses at the time), and often skipped over my name when calling role. Even my favorite teacher, the drama teacher, avoided me. Now that stung bad. One time on the bus some girl shouted out to a group of her friends outside, "yo, you hear bout some girl London gonna blow up da school?" (I went to a particularly ghetto school at the time.) I later received a letter from the school about not being able to attend the after school dance (for which I had spent $50 on a new dress) because of a public safety reason.
Okay, I thought at the time, I can still go on, keep my head high as I have always done. But then my friends began to conspire against me, too. I noticed some of my supposed friends would talk behind my back about how I was probably Satan spawn, as if I couldn't hear them. That definitely made things worse, much worse. In English class, on a day when we had a substitute, two of my 'friends' sat in the corner of the class talking. Pencils were lobbed at the back of my head and wads of paper were launched at me.
Then a kid stood behind me and began preaching. He chanted things like, "demons be gone, rid this school of evil, Satan leave because this is a safe godly place," etc. People were laughing, of course. and of course I was pissed. What were my supposed friends doing to help? laughing. what was the sub doing? I don't even know but when a person starts shouting, much less performing an exorcism on another student, in class they shouldn't just let it slide. Now, I'm a quiet person. I have a very weak voice and so trying to ask him to stop was a no go. And I realized that if I were to stand up and challenge him, that would just spur others on to say stupid things like, "oh, she just attacked him out of nowhere. she is evil, she is possessed, she is Satan in disguise." etc. Of course, then I also thought that if somebody were going to perform an exorcism on another person, shouldn't it at least be in Latin? or commands from the bible or something?
So, without being able to do anything, I turned back to my work and tried to block out the botched attempt of 'purification'. I made a mental note to contact the school board about bullying, lousy subs, and installing cams in classrooms. I never did turn that worksheet in, or remain friends with those people.
Because of this incident, I self harmed for a year. I had severe depression and anxiety, and coupled with the constant bullying from my sisters, it only got worse, as well as it went untreated because nobody really cared enough to notice how depressed I was. I now am still depressed and anxious, but much less so than what I was before. I've recently re-learned how to hold my head up high and feel moderately okay with who I am and where I'm going. I and now 16 years old. I am in 10th grade, with early college classes. I have new friends that actually like me. I think I will be okay.
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