so it all started in kindergarten when i got my glasses... my mom had picked them out for me so they were kindof dorky... i was called a nerd and a teachers pet because i was put into next level classes all through elementary school because i was smarter than the others and had strait A's... at firs i didnt mind because i was kindof a loner... i never have had many friends... so i got called names and then when i got into sixth grade i switched schools... noboy really talked or bullied me  i had just turned twelve... i had my cousin to talk to and i was fine... i finally thought things were going to get better... they didnt... when seventh grade rolled around my mom had posted a picture on facebook with cake on my face because my little sister shoved it in my face... thats when i started getting bullied about my weight... even though at the time i was only 100 lbs... the bullying never stopped... i still never had many friends... i only really had one who i talked to... other than that i talked to my cousin who went to school with me... i got a text from a girl in my school who was probably popular... she texted me saying, "your fat and ugly... you are just a 1,000 lb nerd who needs to kill themselves... " after that i broke down in tears and i started to selfharm... once that started i got pretty good at hiding it up until one day i lost my only hoodie... at this time i didnt have many bracelets and i didnt have any make-up to cover them... after that day i was called an attention seeker... i had an mp3 player that was my only music source at the time... somebody had stolen it from my back pocket and i was left without music... after school on the buss i wasnt thinking strait... i was going crazy because music is the only thing that keeps me sane... i took out my phone (my phone was a ghetto phone so it didnt play music) and i called the principal... i told her to find who stole my mp3 player and threatened her not even meaning for it to be a threat... i said dont be surprised to see something coming at you... she thought i meant guns and violence... i meant my dad coming and yelling at her... the next day i got called into the principals office... unknowing of what i was bieng called in there for i was pushed against a wall and searched without my will bieng heard... i had nothing on me and they ran to check my locker... i was shoved down on the ground by the principal... thats when the teachers started to bully me... they had the school on a lockdown mode type thing all day... not because my threat but because we were next on a blacklist for school shootings on that day... the night before, i had posted on facebook that if anybody was to come and shootout the school i would defend people... i used that as my defense against the principal... she nodded her head and gave me a lecture of how i would be forced to let the teachers defend and make me watch helpless... i never have told anybody this but she actually hit me when i talked back to her... she called my mom and i was scratching and biting myself as a way to relieve anger and sadness... she told me to stop acting like a kid... when the office paged the principal she forced me to sit on a chair so that she could be proven innocent against making me sit on the ground... my mom came in and shoved me over... i started sobbing and she told me to shutup and stop crying... i silently wimpered and did as i was told... she told my mom what happened and that i would be suspended for 5 days... i started arguing and when my mom told me to stop i didnt stop... they eventually made a deal to me that i can be suspended two days but have to go see a school based therapist for the rest of the year... i hated that deal but this time when i argued she had me removed and put into the back room... when i got home i was confronted about my self harming and my razor was taken away... i stopped for a few days but then the kids kept on bullying me... but this time it was worse... nobody would talk to me and i was beat up constantly.. eventually i developed an eating dissorder and i started to starve... i went to the doctor and they said i weighed 110 lbs for 12 years old... i thought that was huge and started to restrict even more... by the end of the year i was sent hate messages so bad that i tried to end it all... i failed... when my 13th birthday came around i weighed 100 lbs again and i couldnt loose anymore because the rest of it is muscle mass... over the summer i have not talked to anybody... my mom has to force me to socialize and i stay most if not all the day listening to black veil brides and blood on the dance floor... both bands have saved my life... my point is that my life is horrible and i am now a complete trouble maker rebel, that it will get better later on... music gets me through the day and even though it may seem like life may never get better trust me it will... but until then blast some music and forget about problems... im still waiting for my life to get better but i am hoping that once highschool comes around i will... now that i am going into 8th grade i am trying to recover by myself with bands standing by my side at all times... stay strong and never give in...<3