I was called terrible things; slut, whore, boy crazy, ugly, fat. I had rumors spread about me through out the whole school. I had gym equipment whipped at me as well, such as tennis balls, and skipping ropes. Everyone watched, and laughed; nobody stopped them... Not even my friends. Because of this, I had such low self esteem.
When I tried telling someone how I felt, they would tell me to suck it up, and they would tell me that I"m just doing it for attention.
I remember I would cry myself to sleep every night. I developed an eating disorder after a while, and started to self harm. Things got worse, and I had attempted suicide by trying to overdose on pills this year. My depression got worse, and I continued to self harm. I had to stop though because my mom found out.
Recently, a guy had found a picture of me on the internet, and blackmailed me. I guess like Amanda Todd.. But I didn't flash or anything. I asked for help from my boyfriend, and he ended up just saying that I deserved it because I did it to myself. After that, I've never thought about suicide more than ever.
I'm the type of person who tells everyone to stay strong, and gives everyone great advice, but when it comes down to me, I have no one.. I can't trust anyone, and I certainly cannot open up to people. I have my boyfriend, but he just gets mad sometimes, so I don't say much.
I put on a fake smile everyday, and everyone believes it. I'm just tired of life. Honestly.
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