Your'e Not Alone

I was not the popular girl in school. I had curly hair, pale skin, and wore glasses. I was bullied throughout grade school and some parts of high school. It started when i was in the first grade when an older kid grabbed me by the wrist. I was embarrassed and wanted to go hide somewhere. What stung was that it happened in a room full of people who had witnessed the incident and chose not to do anything. I didn't tell my mom. I just wanted the day to be over. The bullying continued in grade school by a group of boys who made me their target. They would mock me, laugh at me, scream at me to get out of the way, threaten to break my glasses, and spread a nasty rumor about me.

That was the beginning of me faking stomach aches so I could stay home from school. I saw the weekends as a vacation from school. I did not like myself. I lost my identity. I felt i had no voice and that what the bullies said was true. When I was in the sixth grade, i was waiting outside for my mom to pick me up when a kid tried to take my bag pack. I grabbed it out of his hands and that's when he slapped me on the side of my neck. Thankfully my mom showed up and we went to the principals office. I felt violated and fearful for my life. High school was even a harder time because once again i was the new kid in school. I struggled with making friends and trying to fit in. A couple of my classmates thought they were better than everyone else which made me want to distance myself from them. One of them shared a class with me and he thought it would be funny to make fun of one of my personality traits. I've always been shy. When the bullying continued, the shyness grew. This person didn't know me and didn't care that i had moved to this school, but he thought he knew me well enough to make fun of me. One day during class he said, "Oh I'll just speak for you." He made me feel bad for being myself, which happens alot in these bullying situations. I would be teased by the other kids which made me go speak to the principal and counselor. One didn't believe me, and the other told me i didn't have to be afraid of the bully. I felt alone and helpless. I thought I would be protected by the school educators.  Now that I'm 27, I've tried to put all the painful memories away. I'll be honest, it still affects me today. Sometimes i have a hard time walking in front of a group of people because I'm worried they'll make fun of me.

To those who are currently being bullied, or have been bullied, know that you're not alone in this. I can feel and see your pain by reading online and watching the news. I am on your side. Together, we can end bullying. I'll be your friend, and I'm here to listen. You are not what the bullies say. You are special and unique. You have a voice that deserves to be heard. Don't change who you are.

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