When I was in first grade, this new girl came to my school. She instantly became my best friend, but little did I know that she would pressure me into doing terribly mean things to people. She was so mean to the other girls at the school and I wanted to be just like her, so I was mean to people too. Even the boys were scared of me because of the things I would say. We were close for a long time! In 4th grade I was still mean. It had been 3 years and I never got in trouble so I didn't think I was doing anything wrong. This girl that I really didn't like at all was going to Florida for a long time to take care of her sick grandma and I was jealous, so I was beyond mean to her. About a week before she left we got really close and I was "so nice" to her. She texted me the day before she was going to leave saying how much she's going to miss me, even though I treated her like nothing. I texted back saying horrible things. Things that I would even repeat now and I'm in high school. Her parents found out and they came to my house and told my parents. I got in huge trouble, but I didn't feel bad about what I said. She moved. And then in 5th grade there was this boy that I didn't like, so I logged onto his computer at school and I deleted all of his files and I got ISS for 3 days, but I still didn't feel bad. In 6th grade I went to middle school. And I wasn't mean anymore. I grew from it. I wanted to try out for cheerleading at school, but people would tell me that I was too fat to do it and I would be a bench warmer the whole season, but I ignored it and I tried out. I made it! I was so happy. 6th grade was good. I had good grades and I had friends. 7th grade is where I started to slip up. I got really bad grades and I was always sad but I got through it. The summer between 7th and 8th grade year was possibly the worst thing ever. People wrote anonymous notes about me saying that I was a nasty person and I cut myself. I didn't though. 8th grade year got really bad. I started self harming. They were scratches, but I didn't know that those scratches would turn into an addiction. I had horrible grades and I tried to kill myself two times. 5 days before my birthday I took a huge handful of pills. Luckily it didn't do anything to me. My body was strong enough to fight it off. I was in therapy a lot during that year. There were so many rumors going around about me in that small school. It was horrible. In the summer between 8th and 7th grade year, I was actually going to kill myself. I was cutting big time. I was being bullied by people I didn't even talk to. No one really knows how bad it got. I posted a picture on Instagram telling everyone goodbye. I'm thankful that I posted that picture because if I didn't, I wouldn't be telling this right now. I was going to do it for real this time. Someone contacted my mom and she came upstairs in time. I was this miserable because of the things people were saying about me. Ask.fm is the worst site I think that's out there. It allows anonymous people to say horrible horrible things and I just hate it. If you ever get bullied, tell an adult, even if you feel like you're telling on them. You could save someones life. Trust me.
You're not alone
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