You're a Boy! - Words that still affect me today

Starting school is supposed to be the best feeling right? Well, I got off to a really bad start. I had come fresh from nursery where I had been a leader of an all boy gang which was pretty cool having control over a group of boys. But because of being in a boy environment I still had short hair and wore trousers instead of school skirt. I made some friends despite many classmates thinking I was a boy but they were not mean about it.

But one day I started getting cornered by some girls in the year above me who constantly teased me for looking like a boy. I had to show them my socks everyday to prove they were girls and silly stuff like that. It really got to me especially as it began to get much worse. People were believing them and began teasing me too. My classmates didn't mean to be rude but many boys insisted I was a boy and wanted me to play with them. I began getting shoved out of the girls toilets being told I wasn't allowed because I wasn't a girl and shoved against the fence by boys who thought I'd 'betrayed' them by hanging out with girls. As a young child you don't know what bullying is or what to do about it so it was hard.

My mum noticed I wasn't happy and sorted things out. Despite things being better and although I was so young even then it had a massive impact. I grew my hair really long, threw my trousers away and wore skirts for 4 years until I decided to switch back again. It felt good to be back but was ruined in a class discussion. A teacher asked girls to raise their hands if they liked the life offered on the board and I raised my hand. She looked straight at me and said, "GIRLS dear!" I felt really crushed and just whispered, "I am a girl Miss" That didn't help my mood and even though I am now a young teenager I still have trouble with people telling me I don't like I should and should look different . The bullying is thankfully over but has made me very self conscience, lower self-esteem and I lack severe confidence. I am still concerned about my looks and still have shorter hair but try to look a bit more girly so people don't bother ever bother me again especially as I am at an all girls school so looks are very important.

My advice to people in situations similar or different to mine is to stay strong, keep your head high and tell someone. If you've got no-one to tell, try to get in touch with Childline as I have done before and they're very nice and understanding. If you have no access to anything, just remember I will always think of you and care about you and just remember someone loves you! <3

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