When is it gonna end?

I'm 16 almost 17 and I've been bullied since the 3rd grade. It all started because I liked the popular boy in school. I was only maybe 9? But since that day, my entire life hasn't ever  been the same. I always tell myself that they're just jealous of me but I realized that there is nothing to be jealous of. In 2010, it got so bad that I almost commited suicide. I realized now that it was a childish thought but after going through all of the mental and emotional pain, I thought it was my last resort. My school knew about it all and yet did nothing about it. I still go to that school, but i think there needs to be something else done in school. I get made fun of on social networking sites like instagram and twitter.. It's like every where I go, I have to keep a guard up and I always think people are talking about me when they could be talking about a different person.. I don't have friends anymore because I can't trust them... The biggest question I wanted answers too is, When  is it gonna end? and I won't get those answers ever because no one does anything to help me... 

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  • Ryan Knowles
    commented 2013-04-02 13:45:51 -0400
    Natalea, When I was 15, I was cut from my high school lacrosse team. I heard through the halls and the school that it was because I was too fat or not fast enough, among other things. It was hard to take in. I felt I had worked so hard to be apart of something I wanted so bad, but had it all taken from me with a few short words.

    What I decided to do was to prove everyone wrong, to not give into the rumors and the bad mouthing I knew was going on, but to use that rejection as inspiration to grow stronger, physically and mentally. So I spent the next year doing just that, and when I heard or thought I heard people talking badly about me, I didn’t pay attention to it because at the end of the day, it’s all nonsense, hearsay, stuff that even months from then, and definitely now, doesn’t even matter.

    I ended up making the varsity lacrosse team the next year, and proved everyone wrong. As I look back on that experience, a lot of it had to do with the fact that I did not accept my situation as permanent, and I recognized that as I grew older and matured, my life and the things that made me happy were not dictated by others, but were already within me.

    I hope that you know that though life can be difficult and seemingly at times not worth the trouble, it has a beautiful way of teaching you incredibly important lessons, some harder than others, but still very important nonetheless. Though it may be hard, trusting people and letting people into your life is so important to healthy living. I do not know what your personal circumstances are with your friends, but I did the same sort of thing when some friends did things I did not like, and I regret writing them off now, for my life might have been a little better had I not chosen to do so.

    Thank you so much for sharing your story, it takes a lot of courage. We’re always just a few types of the keypad away!

    All my best,

    The Bully Project Team