When I was in 5th grade. Thats when all hell broke lose on me. I was bullied all the time. Day in, day out. I always protected my friends and stood up for them, but I never stood up for myself. I took the hit from my friends, and saved them. That year I met the love of my life. No we never dated. But I loved her. The first day she came to Guymon schools, she got bullied. I stood up and defended her. Instantly me and her became friends. Instantly. I fell in love with her after a couple of months. In 6th grade, she started getting bullied again. I, again, stood up for her and took the hit and didn't say anything about being bullied. At the end of 6th grade everything took a hard turn and got worse. I started cutting, at least twice a day. In 7th grade, cutting turned into attempted suicide. I tried three times, and failed. Kyla stopped me every time. And I just kept falling deeper, and deeper in love with her. Kyla told me she was leaving Oklahoma and moving to Texas. That night I cried for hours. Then a week later she left. I hugged her and said good bye to her. That night I cried even more. And I started cutting again, and again, and again. I tried to kill myself. I failed. I was called a douche, and ass, a player, and fag and many more. All the time. In 8th grade i finally ended it. All the bullying stopped. I let a girl her is lesbian. Well, I met two girls who are lesbian. These girls didn't know each other. About December of my 8th grade year, I saw them kiss. I was shocked. I went up and asked why they kissed and they said they were dating. I respect that. They're dating. I love these girls to death. And they are bullied everyday because they are gay. But I don't care. They love each other and I think thats all that matters. I've only had one girlfriend. One. And, I'm still looking for one. Still am. I don't need one but, maybe I'm just lonely. I need someone I can talk to everyday. Without question. I want somebody that I can love, that loves me. I'm depressed. Not cutting anymore, but depressed. Moral, Don't stand up for someone and not stand up for yourself. Stand up for yourself, and your friends.