There's Faith

My Journey Started When I Was 3 Grade I Was Over Weight. I Weighted 140 Pounds Everybody Found Out And Called Me Fat. They Would Throw Food At Me. I Never Slept At Night & I Had Insomnia. Couple Of Months Passed And I Had A Eating Disorder. I Was Bulimic & Anorexic. I Weighted 67 pounds In 4th Grade.I Always Throw Up Before I Eat, My Parents Noticed There Was Something Wrong & Took Me To The Doctor , the Doctor Said I Have A Eating Disorder At First I Didn't Knew What Was That And Then The Doctor Told Me And Shred Tears & Started To Self Harm ... In 5th Grade I Was Recovering From My Eating Disorder I Weighted 110 But I started To Self harm More. In 6th Grade I Was Fully Recovered From My Eating Disorder. but I Was Bullied,Jumped,And Threaten. So I Always Cutted Myself I thought that Was Always The Relief To All My Problems & So Then I Got Left Back Everything Got Worser Everyone Made Fun Of Me I Even Tried to Commit Suicide But it Failed. One Day I Was In The Guidance Office Cause I Was Crying One Day. She Asked Me If I Was Okay I Said Yes. She Saw A Recent I Made And Asked "What Happened There?" I Stood Silent For 5 sec & Said "Nothing" & She Said "Can I See ?" & So I Let Her She Looked At My In Eyes And Said "Do You Cut Yourself ?" & I Stood Shut for 10 Sec with My Legs Moving And Breathing Hard I replied Kinda Wiggly "no I Don't " & She Said " your Sure Hun ?" & I started To cry and I Said "Yes I do Please Don't Tell Anyone" & She Had To Call My Parents & Let Them Know She Called My Dad & My Dad Told Me Why Do I Make Things Hard For Him & That Day Was The Worst day Of My Life & Then My Whole Family Found Out & Called My Crazy It Hurted A lot , My Family Always Doubted Me & Made Me Feel Like Crap ... But Then I Kept Self Harming More And More I Cutted Myself , Burned Myself , And Bruised My Self & I Always Tried Killing Myself And I always Failed , I Wanted To Give Up I Found Nothing In My Life Interesting Anymore & Then 2013 Came The Beginning I was To Depressed About My Break Up In January With My Ex I Almost Made A Year With I Wanted To Kill Myself & Cutted deeper And Deeper Each Day & I Got Hospitalize On 2.18.13 & Was There For A Week But That Didn't Help I Still Self Harmed When I Got Out Then I Got Over Him At May in May 8, 2013 I Made The Deepest Cut That I Saw My Inner Skin & Thought I Can't Be Like This Anymore ... I Gotta Stay Strong Since Then I've Been Staying Strong After All Those 6 Years Im 9 Months Of Clean Without Hurting My Self These Whole 9 Months I Tried My Hardest To Stay Strong I Got No One By My Side Right Now, My Family Try Their Hardest To Put Me Down & Its Hard I Sometimes Want To Give Up But Then I Think Again I Got To Stay Strong I Can't Give Up I won't Give Up ! I Cry All The Time & Fake A Smile But I Know Its Part Of Staying Strong !

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