The Victim

All my life, I've been bullied. It started when I was a young girl and in daycare. No one wanted to be my friend because I was Asian. I didn't understand why people didn't like me. I thought I was like them, I felt like them. As I grew up to the age of being able to go to school, people discriminated against me, again because of my race. I was raised in a white family and I felt very much like them. I was taught that I was supposed to be nice to everyone but I didn't know I could stand up to them. Through 3rd grade, I was severely bullied. I was even bullied by adults, mostly the ones that were supposed to help me learn and grow as a person. These educators made me feel small and isolated. It got to a point where I wanted to die. I was quickly moved from that class but the bullying continued. One girl even told me they were glad they weren't adopted and I cried for a week straight. Fourth grade wasn't as bad, but my friends suddenly didn't feel like friends. Fifth grade was my year and I felt like I stood a chance, until it all came tumbling down when, once again, an adult bullied me. They thought I was never going to amount to anything. I cried myself to sleep for 2 days straight. I moved on to middle school but I had learnt to build a wall. Here is the beginning of my nightmare. Those friends I had, suddenly didn't want anything to do with me. I was labeled a rude and mean because I was depressed and had anxiety, though  I hadn't been diagnosed yet. I learned to build a mask and then perfect it. 7th grade was the beginning of the depression, I was losing friends and battling anxiety and I had my first panic attack. I started thinking about suicide and cutting. It gets even worse. The beginning of 8th grade is when I began cutting. I never cut deep enough to leave scars but enough to make myself bleed. I had severe depression and high anxiety. On Sept. 20th, I attempted suicide but I called the suicide hotline and they convinced me that it was going to be okay. I was 13. The bullying doesn't end. I am once again being bullied by a teacher. They yell at me and no matter what I try to do, I'll end up with the consequences. I have lost a large amount of friends this year and I am left with 2. 

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