I have always been the strange one or the loner. I'm the one who wears the dark clothes, crazy colored hair, the piercings and having the dark past. My father is an alcoholic and drug addict who abused me emotionally for 15 years. I never talked to anyone, I stayed in the background because I didn't want anyone to know about my father. I was bullied because I was a loner. I started to cut and I always wore long sleeved shirts. Everyone tried to see the scars because my best friend at the time told everyone in my school my secret. They would laugh at me and call me emo/goth.
In 9th grade I thought things would get better, but it got worse. The teachers started judging me. They never would help end with anything. They would ignore me. One teacher called me out on my style and insulted me in the middle of class. I had my first girlfriend that year which made things worse. I always knew I was attracted to both men and women. All the girls in my gym class would say when we were in the locker room "don't look at me while I'm changing lesbo!" they would hide their bodies and give me dirty looks. I started cutting more and more.
As I got older I started experimenting with my look, I colored my hair crazy colors and got more piercings. I teased my hair and had the emo/scene look. People would yell at me saying "Go cut your wrists." And I listened to them. I got into drugs and alcohol, I drank every night I could. I popped pills and smoked pot. Those were my escapes from the bullying. I tried committing suicide many times. I was put into a trauma and behavioral class called SPARKS. It has helped me cope with the bullying and taught me to be strong and to be who you really are. I am now 17 years old, I still have the crazy hair, and piercings and am trying to be strong through the tough times.
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