The Pain Within

Hello, my name is Anthony Coetzee, I am currently 17 & am struggling to cope with all that has happened, & all that is happening. It all started in 2007, my dad & my mom were having fights with each other all the time, & I was abused & bullied by my dad. I could not defent myself or do anything because I was too young, a year later, my mom commited fraudry (I suspect that this was to move away from my dad with me) but she was caught, when they tried to ask her why, she ran away. We found her a week later in a parking lot outside of a shopping mall, she has overdosed on a large amount of pills. By the end of her funeral service I was completely destroyed, I barely knew my father, he was never there for me. I only knew my mother. He carried on with his abuse & bullying until a few months ago when I lost my grandfather (his father), my grandfather become my role model after I lost my mom, he protected me, loved me, & was always there for me, I never saw a better father figure in my life, but I lost him recently due to cancer. I was alone & had nobody to count on for a long time, until I met my two new best friends Angelique & Alex. But I recently found out that Angelique has cancer too, & does not have long to live. I can't stand to lose anyone else, because she's the one person who knows everything about me, the only one who does, she knew of my suicide attempts, my cuts & scars, & not once did she judge me... Instead, she loved me, & I fell in love with her, but she refused to date me, because she doesn't want me to get hurt once her cancer catches up with her. I don't know how to deal with all this, I lose everyone I love, & I'm scared to love because of this, I was doing well at school & I had a fairly good life aside from my dads abuse. But it all caught up again & I can't bare to lose anyone else. I just can't lose her too. I can't.

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