The Freak.

I started Ballet classes at 4 years old, it was something that I absolutely loved until around the age of 12-13, when the girls I took Ballet classes with started to tease me. I don't know why it started, I'd been friends with these girls for almost 4 years and all of a sudden they were turning on me. They called me a freak (I grew tall really quickly?) and anorexic, which was odd considering we were all the exact same size... However, they also called me a lesbian. I'd never been great with making friends with guys and I always got nervous around them or when they talked to me. Also around that time I'd moved to an all girls school, as my parents couldn't afford to send me to the co-ed school they had been sending me to. So because I had a best friend who was a girl who I used to talk to on the phone in the afternoon to kill time before Ballet classes they used to call me a lesbian. This really got to me, I knew I liked boys and that I wasn't a lesbian, but I thought that since they were calling me a lesbian that I must be. I started to distance myself from my best friend, I stopped calling her in the afternoons and we lost touch. I also later that year quite Ballet because I really hated going. Their teasing lead to me being afraid of my sexuality, every time when my friends discussed women celebrities and one would mention "oh so and so, she's so smart and good looking" and my friends would all agree, I felt like I couldn't agree. Even though I thought the same and but I was attracted to men. It's only now, what six years later that I'm totally comfortable with who I am. Yet, at the same time I'm conflicted about how I felt with the situation, obviously ideally I would've ignore their comments and pushed through it. But at the same time I took being called a lesbian as an insult, was this wrong of me? I guess being called something you're not annoys anyone. I get furious that they used that as an insult, because their is nothing wrong with being homosexual.

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