I have been bullied for quite a while actually. Everything that happened to me in such a few years, I regret that I ever fell for their tricks.

It all began at my first year of high school, everything seemed perfect and I thought I finally had a friend for life! Well, I was wrong. When I got into my third year of high school everything went wrong. My "Best friend" left me just so she could be popular and I actually started to try to be popular myself! But how could I... I am a alternative girl, I always knew I was different then them. But still, I wanted to be one of them and tried everything... I couldn't lose my "Best friend"... I felt alone, hated and weird. No one wanted to be my friend and everyone kept laughing about the way I was.. I hated myself for being me and wished I was someone else.

But then, something inside me snapped. I couldn't take it anymore! I started to look at myself in the mirror and knew I had to just be myself... If they don't like me this way... Why should it be any difference if I started to finally be myself. And that's exactly what I did. I started to dress and act the way I should. I didn't care about them all anymore because now I finally feel happy!

I found a real best friend and got the best friends of the whole wide world... But even though I am finally happy, I will never get over the feeling of being alone... Its stuck inside me and will never go away until I'm ready to let go... But unfortunately, I'm still not ready. If my best friend goes out shopping with someone else, I actually feel lonely and betrayed even though it doesn't mean anything! That feeling is awful, horrible and terrible... And maybe one day I can finally let it go.

This is my story, about how my life changed forever. How I sometimes feel alone forever even though I have so many friends around.

Be strong everyone who is being bullied at the moment, just be yourself and you'll see that a true friend can never be far away.

Never give up <3

With dearest love written by,

Suzanne Hoek (Susan Hook/Susanne Hoek) The Dutch forever alone girl.

If you want to see my transformation, mail to [email protected] and I'll show you how much I changed in 2 years.