Before 7th grade I was popular in school, everybody knew me and they respected me. What else could I ask for? I had to move to other school on 7th grade and I tried to become popular, but everybody hated me. They ignored me and I had some friends. It wasn't until days later of my arrival that they demonstrated their hate. Everybody in the classroom punched me, I couldn't do anything I was so scared, I saw their faces laughing while they were punching me. I could resist the pain, but what I couldn't resist was the humiliation of everybody beating me. I started to cry and they where just laughing, when they got tired I felt so ashamed, stupid, worthless and scared that I didn't said a word. I sat on my desk and cried. The teacher wasn't there.
Their hate started to grow also. They called me "fag" (don't get me wrong, I am NOT gay), "ass" and other names. I started to feel more afraid each time and everyday. I just went to school to get good grades to make happy my parents. By the end of 7th grade, some kids started to madurate and asked me to forgive them, which I accepted. At the start of 8th grade, new bullies appeared, they said to me that I was ugly and no girl would like me. I was trying to get a girlfriend to feel at least loved and that somebody cared for me and that I was important for someone. I was emotionally damaged, I started to get shy and my friends went away and turned their backs to me. Sometimes i spent all school day alone and it was painful, on those days I just wanted to die or to be on 6th grade again. By the end of 8th grade, I was so shy that it was hard to me to ask a question to the cashier at the supermarket and I only went to socials to eat. I realized that I did't fit on that school, it was necessary to escape of my past and start over. So an opportunity to study on the US came and I accepted without thinking (all my life until the end of 8th grade i studied in Mexico).
I entered on 9th grade in the US, with little knowledge of English and a shy behavior I survived. Eventually I learned english but I was painfully shy, looking for a table was a struggle everyday in lunch, walking on the hallways was a struggle and even talking to new people. I used to feel how my throat closed when I went to church every sunday (i am catholic). Altough there were no bullies on this new environment, i was alone and I was a nobody. I still had the hope to be how I was on 6th grade. It made me cry at night when everybody was asleep and couldn't see me crying or hear my laments, I used (and still) to cry until I fell asleep. I was a dark and misterious guy that sat on the very last desks of a class. I mistrusted from all people, I was like a mistreated pup that hided when saw people coming, I didn't wanted to get hurt or being humiliated again. When I have no more hope, this beatiful girl showed up on my life.
This girl (let's call her Marianne) approached me and saw me everyday sitting alone on my biology class, I don't know what happedned, but one day she invited me to sit with her. As always, First I saw eskeptical her intentions, but I accepted. I felt good and comfortable with her. I saw clearly that she had good intentions and she would never harm me. Later she offered me her friendship, someone that never did to me since I started 9th grade. She treated me with respect and with kindness.
When 9th grade ended, I spent my summer reading. I accidentally found a book that talked about shyness and I found out that I had social anxiety, caused by the bullying. So from that moment I decided to stand out against bullying.
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