So, it started in 4th grade… probably sooner but I didn't realize it until then. People left me out of group activities, called me stupid, said I smelled bad even though I didn't. People lied to me and said they were my friend… they made me believe that and once I was sure they were my friend they would screw with my head. I only had one friend, who is still my best friend to this day. 4th grade was the first time I had ever cut myself. Not 6th grade like I told certain people. 4th grade was when I had my first suicidal thoughts. I never said anything to anyone about it. I didn't think it was a big deal. Now I realize it is a big deal… a huge deal… because I still suffer from severe depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and anxiety.