My 12 yr old daughter has been and still is getting bullied!!She is a tall, thin, beautiful,smart,caring,loving,funny girl.She likes to dye her hair different colors (only her bangs) wears skinny jeans and rock band tshirts.She dresses just like everyone else so why is she the target??The bulling got so bad for her that she started to cut her self she wanted to die...at the young age of 11 she wanted to die!!She would use razors,broken glass or anything sharp to use to cut her thin little body.She would cut her arm and legs..her upper thighs still have the scar of a boys name on her that she "loved" so much.When her school called me to come in and talk that is when they told me she wanted to die my heart sank!!!How??? why???I couldnt understand why she thought she had to try and kill herself.Then came the "reasons" being called an emo fagget,whore,slut,bitch,ugly,stupid,goth,freak and Im sure many more things.We left her school and I checked her into a hospital to get her some help.She was in there for 5 days. When she got out and went back to school rumors were flying that she was locked up because of trying to commit suicide,she had a baby,she was locked up for drugs.She contiunue to cut herslf even after she was let go. She didnt get the help that she needed because there was to many other girls on her unit.To walk in and see so many girls with scars and bandages on them was a slap in the face...This is what the world has come to?Yes I was getting her help even outside of the hospital. Nothing was helping so I brought her to another hospital, one that did help my baby get the help she needed!!My daughter is now a survivor to self harm! She still gets bullied the other day she got spit on tripped and called a lesbo.The good thing is, she didnt hurt herself. Instead, she talked about it and guess what? The school said they couldnt do anything to the girl who spit on her or the boy that tripped her becuase she didnt know who they were.The boy that called her a lesbo got a "firm" talking to.Schools preach about no bulling is allowed but in my daughters school its you get 3 strikes then maybe your out.Kids need to see the result of being bullied!!Just look at my daughter.This is what I tell my daughter, I will always be in front beside and behind you!!I love my sweet daughter and will never give up on her.
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Ryan Knowles commented 2013-04-03 13:33:30 -0400Jen, First of all, thank you so much for sharing your story. Your daughters experience with bullying is what we are working so hard each and every day to prevent. from what it sounds like, the school doesn’t seem to think they’re accountable, which you as a parent can help change. Have you brought your daughter’s case before the school board? Make sure you are documenting every incident as it happens. You can do this by filing reports with the school, or you can go one step further and file a report with the department of health and human services office of civil rights (linked here: http://www.hhs.gov/ocr/civilrights/complaints/index.html). The more evidence you have that there is abuse and harassment, the more likely a school is to take action, in most cases because they don’t want to be held responsible for neglect.
Also, make sure to look through our toolkit for parents, it has some incredible resources that can help you and your daughter make your voices heard and change the climate she has to endure daily. Here is the link: http://www.thebullyproject.com/tools_parents
Jen, please stay strong, if you need any further help, do not hesitate to email us at [email protected].
All my best,
Ryan
The BULLY Project Team