Since the 6th grade

I have never been what society calls "beautiful." And people have bullied me because of that. It all started in the 6th grade. I got bullied because my hair was shorter than other girls, I was "bigger" than other girls, I got told that "I would never have anyone to love me" and that "I should just stop breathing." The worst part is those are words from my siblings. I tried telling my parents and they took it as a joke and that it was just sibling things and that the people at school were just messing around. Then we moved to Minnesota, where I thought I could get a fresh start. In a way I guess I did, but the bullying didn't end. At this point I was in 7th grade and suicidal thoughts were becoming more frequent in my mind. I tried to just push them away and throughout 7th grade, it worked for the most part. I could distract myself. But then came 8th grade. Where my best friends betrayed me, and became the bullies but yet they still said things such as "oh I love you." and "This is why you're my best friend." And it makes me really sad that they can't see what their words do to me. It's now the summer, and I'm going to be going to highschool next year, and I'm terrified. Somehow it seems like the bullying will get worse and everything will become to much. I honestly think that I won't live through my four years of highschool. I need help, but I don't know where to go, or what to do. I guess I'm just waiting to see how things turn out once school starts again. 

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