Shaping Who I Am Now

To be honest i have been bullied all of my life. Ever since i was about 4 or 5 years old i have been called names like fat, ugly, and dumb. Ive always been a little big for my age so i mainly got picked on over my weight. On top of that, ive always been what i guess you could say 'smart'. An all A's student for pretty much all of my life. Yes, i was that geeky girl that sits in the front of the class and am the first to raise my hand. I rather read than hang out with friends most of the time. In 6th grade though that all changed. I got bullied by most of the girls and even some of the guys in my class. I lost all my friends. Rumors were spread about me everyday. I was called names constantly and to be honest it hurt... a lot. In 7th grade i was verbally, physically, and every other form there is of being bullied. I was told that maybe if id die the world would be a better place. I got cussed out over text messages, yelled at infront of others, and even punched. I developed a eating disorder and started self harming. A few times i even thought about suicide... My mom talked to the principles about it and they asked me about it later that day. They asked me if i was being bullied and i told them no. I told them no because i knew they wouldnt do anything about it. My friends told the principles in the past about them being bullied and they did nothing. So why would they suddenly chose to do something with me?? At the end of 7th grade i was no longer bulimic but i still self harmed. In 8th grade things got better. This year, in 9th grade my life seems normal. I quit self harming and so far am over 2 months clean. My old bullies dont mess with me anymore and i found some really amazing friends. My grades have dropped but i am pulling them back up!! After all this though i found out that my bullying experience helped me. It didnt make me stronger or anything but it did shape who i am today. And maybe i cant go back in time and change what happened to me but one thing is for sure, i can help others now. And that is exactly what i am going to do!! :)

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