I was bullied as long as I can remember. I am currently 14. I was always teased for my weight, I remember how I never felt safe near anyone. I had no friends. I was teased at school, and even at my babysitters. I was always called fat, by kids and adults. When I was 3 my da was arressted and I knew some how it was my fault, that I wasn't good enough. I thought that because of the fact I was heavy it had to be why. I wasn't a pretty daughter. One dy at school things went too far. I had finally come out as bi and a guy kicked me in the back of the knee and when I fell a girl started kicking me. I was bullied on the bus as well and called fat, ugly, possom girl, and worthless. I came home crying every day and my mom didn't listen. There was nothing she could do. I reported things daily. I was 10 in the 6th grade when I first cut. It was the worst mistake of my life. It finally stopped in 8th grade when I had enough. I fought a girl and yelled my lungs out at everyone on the bus. But it began again shortly after leaving my abusive ex. at this time I ad just been released from a pshyciatric facility over my continuous cutting addiction. He spread hurtful rumors abuot me and threatened my life in front of the whole school on valentines day. When I spoke up for myself the administrator behind me told me to shut up and keep walking. The cuting soon became bullimia and anorexia along with drug abuse and alcoholism. One day it was too much, I attempted suicide at my high school by taking a handfull of my prescription sleeping pills and antidepressants along with a whole bottle of liqour. But I found the love of my life and he helped me through it. I have been clean from self harm and sober from drugs and alcohol since march 1st of this year. The point of me sharing my bullying experience was to show that words can cut deeper than any imaginavble blade and can kill the strongest of the young. I know that with bullying comes with self destructive behaviours. I can promise you everyday is another step to happiness. It's never the end. Things will get better. I know everyone has been told that at one point but Ive come to realize it's true. everyone will have a day where the pain will fade away and you will have nothing but pure happiness ahead, wheather love from family or a special somebody or even a pet! I love everyone who is willing to make a difference in the world for the better. If anyone is feeling low or just want a friend email me at [email protected] or text or call me at 3863151884. I am willing to give advice to anyoneat all. I will promise to email back as soon as possible but I wont reach you as quickly as I can through phone. Do not hesitate to speak up and ask for help. Scilene is the deadliest thing in life, remember, say what you feel and feel what you say because those who matter dont mind and those who mind dont matter - Dr. Suess. Don't be shy to give me a call or anything. If I could change one life or even simply put a smile on a strangers face who seems to be down on their luck, that would make my life. Keep your high held high and a smile on your face. Love who you love and know everyone is worth it. Nobody is ugly, stupid, fat or worthless. We are all a work of art and given a heart to love. Think twice before you pick up that blade, pills, or booze. Think twice before you want to end your life. LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL! All you have to do is change your perception on the bad in this world and hope it will change. Hoping is the first step to acheiving. LOVE YOURSELF <3
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