I move to an army base half way through the year of gr.4. It was fine, I made friends and had a good time. It made my move away from friends easier. I'd never been bullied before until the start of grade 5 is when my hell began. I remember being at a friends place and I climbed into a tree. Nicole stole my shoe and refused to give it back while calling me names and it continued this way for years. She had developed her own little gang of friends to tease me. being on an army base there was no safe place to catch a break. They were everywhere and always took the chance to tease me. cry-baby, small feet, and loser were names I frequently heard. Eventually they started taking to hiding my shoes while we were in gym class so I always left a few minutes early so I could find them. One year Nicole was next to me for lockers and she would open her locker all the way so her door covered mine and I couldn't get in. What made everything so hard to deal with is I had no teacher to help me. No one to stand up for me. My parents tried, but to the school Nicole was a perfect angel, teachers pet, and had even said they heard word I was bullying her! I had a lot of sick days because there were days I just couldn't get the strength to walk out that door knowing I was going to be teased in some way. I was going against almost an entire class by gr.7. Out of 27 students only 2 were my good friends and there were about 6 others that didn't get involved in any way.

I was also dealing with being verbally abused by my dad. I was being called stupid, told to wake up and use my brain, bonehead. I was feeling suffocated and trapped. My mom started seeking help for me when I would come home crying everyday after school. It helped to have someone else to talk with, but it didn't solve any of my problems. They still kept going with their bullying. I just couldn't continue being with that class anymore, my marks in school were bad, but I kept being pushed ahead. In gr.7 I asked to be kept back and I ended up with a better group of kids, but I still had the run ins with Nicole and company. Sadly I ended up with a bully teacher that year so it still was hard, but I couldn't wait to to get to gr. 8. There was a new teacher and I would see him disciplining Nicole from time to time. It was obvious he could see through her. And when I did get him as a teacher he was as great as I thought he would be. He understood how difficult math was for me and let me take a special course to help me during that period. For that one year I had a break during the day from bullies. I loved gr. 8.

Gr. 9 I started high school in a town off the base. Unfortunately it's where Nicole and some of her group ended up. They had made friends with the popular group...my hell was back. I had food thrown at me on the bus a couple times. I'd taken to sitting by myself, headphones on so I would have to hear them. Best thing about failing a grade was that they were in none of my classes. I ended up making lots of friends and I guess they would have been considered punks and goths. Good people and I was never bullied when I was with them. They accepted me as me even though I didn't dress like them, they didn't care. I ended up getting a new nick name is school that I didn't understand why I had. The most popular guy in school who was friends with Nicole (and not gonna lie, he was hot) started calling me a stalker. It was a small high school and they always sat in the main hallway, so it was no wonder that I ran into them often. I cried plenty, not understanding why I was picked on. I never did anything to them.

I think I finally reached my breaking point when I thought enough is enough when a couple girls I didn't know called me cry baby as I walked by. I wasn't even crying! I wasn't doing anything except walking to where my friends were. They just sounded stupid calling me that. I ended stealing me nerves and gave my number to the popular guy in school and told him to call me. When he did I asked him if he could get his friends to leave me alone, I wasn't stalking him and i just wanted to be left alone. With his attitude I thought it didn't work, but I did notice a decrease in the bullying. So I guess it worked a little. I moved in the summer and began gr.10 in a different city. I wasn't bullied at all there. It almost felt like my old school before I moved to the base, but scars were left.

To this day, I'm now 29, long after I've graduated I am still nervous when it comes to meeting people, especially other girls, but I'm slowly improving. I have since dealt with the odd bully in the working field, but now find I'm able to handle it better and my bosses help when I need it.