It Will Get Better

In fifth grade, I moved to a brand new state, which I had never done before. I had never even been to a different school. I went to a college prep school (the third school I went to because of bullying, but that isn't the important part) and I was bullied like never before. I was still in fifth grade; the girls always made fun of me because I didn't shave my legs yet, a boy would purposefully pick his scabs so he could rub blood on me, and I was constantly being beat up. I never told anyone about it because the boys who beat me up told me that if I told anyone they would kill me. After six months of enduring this torture, it was finally summer. The next school year I went to a new school in which I wasn't bullied physically, but this time emotionally and psychologically. The whole year was filled with people picking on me, telling me they were my friends then calling me ugly, fat, and stupid… The only reason I stayed was because my sister wanted to graduate there (she was a junior at the time). 

I had to go through that for a full year and every day I would come home secretly crying. The next year I thought would be better (this was a k-12 school). For another three months, I was bullied even worse. One of my sisters was already in college and our old house wasn't sold yet so we had no money. I didn't have nice clothes, I went from scrawny to fat, and the bullying was now emotional and physical. Anyways, during that three months I started cutting myself (It has been over a year and the scars haven't healed) and started having suicidal thoughts. I had no friends and was absolutely depressed. Early November of 2012 I took 15 allergy pills and hoped to never wake up. I didn't go to sleep, though, and instead started having scary hallucinations. The next day I couldn't hold anything because I was dropping anything I tried to get a grip on and I was throwing up like crazy. I ended up having to get my stomach pumped at the ER.

My mom got me into therapy, but it didn't help. I was still cutting, and people still bullied me, even though they knew I tried to kill myself. 2 weeks after trying to kill myself the first time, I cut myself the vertical way (deadly way) and lost a lot of blood. I had to go to the ER and get stitches when my mom found me. I was taken out of school for a week. 

After that, I talked to my principal and teachers about what had happened. We had a seminar on bullying, and most of the people who had harassed me were expelled. I got a better therapist and now I am very happy. I am at a healthy weight and I am one of the most popular girls in school; not because I am mean or gorgeous, but because I am nice and people can talk to me. I hope everyone can have a happy ending like me.

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