2nd grade, I moved to a new city. Meaning new people and new friends. It was really hard for me. As a kid, being the new kid at school was the worst. But I make friends easy..or use to.
I made a friend, but of course she turned on me. Calling me names. For a 2nd grader she called me some pretty nasty names. I was alone. In 2nd grade. That was so horrible.
All throughout Elmentary school I was bullied and I had probably 2 friends. But we got into fights daily. Now we don't even speak. Which sucks, because we did everything together.
When middle school hit, I'm not gonna lie it was already hell. That was the year I started to self harm. 6th grade was when everything started to go downhill. I wanted to commit suicide. I would stay home from school, scared. Ididn't understand why I got picked on. I met my bestfriend that year, her name is Carmen. She accepted me. She saved me. By the time I was in 7th grade I had scars all over my body. I was skinnier then ever(from not eating). The worst thing is, nobody knew. I didn't tell anybody. Not the school, not my parents, not Carmen. Not anybody. I didn't want attention. I didn't want to be helped. By 8th grade I came out. I told everyone. The school, my parents, and Carmen. I was glad I did. Because I thought they would help me, but I thought wrong. I was getting notes in my locker. Calling me everyname in the book. Telling me to commit suicide. I took the notes to the office and they moved my locker. After a while they told me they couldn't do anything. Carmen got notes a couple times too. The office pulled me in because they thought I was writing myself the notes. Nice, right? That's the last time I went to the school for anything.
That summer I had no choice but to act happy. I didn't want anyone to worry about me, or actually I thought nobody would worry about me anyway. I got a therapist that summer, and she focused on my anger problems and self esteem. It didn't help that much. So I stopped going.
This year, I got pushed too far. I had 20 pills in my mouth. But for some odd reason I spit them out. I told myself to suck it up. On January 25th, 2013. I had planned to take my own life. I was fed up. Carmen called the police and they came to my house to my sure I was ok.
I'm glad she did that. Sure, suicide crosses my mind. I selfharm still, but I'm getting better thanks to her. And also thanks to Demi Lovato. I always listened to her music when I got upset. Her music was my escape from the world.
I get homeschooled now and I am working on recovering.
My name is Haley Collins. And I am SO glad to be alive.
I'm a fighter.
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