I give up

I am Namiko and i am a 13 year old girl, and I am very self-conscious about my weight all during 5th grade to 6th and 7th I've been called names.. I've been sworn at, and teased. At first these things did not bother me as much now it didn't affect me as much until this day, when I was walking home from school to pick up my little brother and a group of boys we're near. I tried my best to avoid them but I failed horribly. When I had went across the street one yelled " fat ass bitch" and through a big block of ice in the back of my head. I went home crying because that really hurt my feelings, I ended up telling my grandmother and my mom about the situation and my mom was livid. I don't feel safe as I did before. I feel like things are going to get worse, I try to keep myself at peace no matter what anyone says but it is not working at all. I feel like no one will ever care for me, now days boys only look at females just because of their looks never for their personality. I always doubt myself I have no type of confidence what so ever. I doubt that anyone will ever have a crush on me because I've been told once that I am a boy and I'm not gonna succeed in life. I honestly feel like nobody cares for me at all and why am I still here on this earth in the first place. Nobody would care if I dropped down dead right at this moment. I've even tried cutting myself which didn't work. I've thought about suicide so many times its driving me crazy. I get treated like a piece of trash. Sometimes I just want someone to just shoot me or kidnap me and kill me because nobody cares about me anyways so why not. I give up on everything.

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