How I Rose from the Ashes

Everything began when I was little. It was engrained into me that I did not fit in. I am adopted. My parents are white and I am Asian.  My immediate family always made me feel at home, but that was not the case for my extended family. I was told that I did not fi in and I would have to do things in order to fit in. My cousins were older so I trusted what they were saying...That was just the beginning.  I was sexually assaulted by a family member for years. I was told that I needed this to happen so I could be accepted into the family. This was the first of many bad memories.

When I started grade school things just got worse.  I went to a school that was not very diverse. Kids would call me names and ask me where my "real parents" were. No one really understood adoption and no one was helping teach people. This went on for all the years I was in school. I did make some friends, but then it was time for the three worst years of my life.

Middle school. Not only was it a new school, but it was also puberty.  I was not very thin or popular.  I would be made fun of about how I looked and who I was friends with. I did not have many friends, but the one friend I had was no friend to me at all. This girl used me. She needed attention all the time. She thought that I was trying to steal her boyfriend, so she had her friend call me and threaten to kill me. I was the joke. Boys would ask me out as a dare and then laugh in my face when I would say yes. Kids would make fun of my body and how I looked. I went home and cried myself to sleep every night. I started to cut myself and thought about suicide many times. I would pray to god to kill me and to just end it all. I did not know what to do and I had no one to turn to.

This went on for a while. I went to high school and was able to get away from many of the kids who were bullying me. I got into sports and lost weight. I made friends and was considered to be popular.  I graduated high school with honors and went on to a private school in upstate NY. I am now very successful.

The point that I want to make to people is, that is more difficult to be bullied than people think.  It is not just about standing up for yourself. Sometimes that can make it worse. It did for me. I want people to know that it can get better, but you have to let someone know. There are people out there who want to help. I want to raise more awareness about what really goes on. It is even worse now with social media and technology. There are so many ways to hurt someone. Just because someone is different does not mean that they are any less of a person. You do not have to be everyone's friend, just stand up for them and for yourself. Let everyone know that it is not ok. The smallest pebble can make ripples in a large lake once it is dropped.  Drop your pebble and make the ripples in your school and in your life.

When I started grade school things just got worse.  I went to a school that was not very diverse. Kids would call me names and ask me where my "real parents" were. No one really understood adoption and no one was helping teach people. This went on for all the years I was in school. I did make some friends, but then it was time for the three worst years of my life.

Middle school. Not only was it a new school, but it was also puberty.  I was not very thin or popular.  I would be made fun of about how I looked and who I was friends with. I did not have many friends, but the one friend I had was no friend to me at all. This girl used me. She needed attention all the time. She thought that I was trying to steal her boyfriend, so she had her friend call me and threaten to kill me. I was the joke. Boys would ask me out as a dare and then laugh in my face when I would say yes. Kids would make fun of my body and how I looked. I went home and cried myself to sleep every night. I started to cut myself and thought about suicide many times. I would pray to god to kill me and to just end it all. I did not know what to do and I had no one to turn to.

This went on for a while. I went to highschool and was able to get away from many of the kids who were bullying me. I got into sports and lost weight. I made friends and was considered to be popular.  I graduated high school with honors and went on to a private school in upstate NY. I am now very successful.

The point that I want to make to people is, that is more difficult to be bullyed than people think.  It is not just about standing up for yourself. Sometimes that can make it worse. It did for me. I want people to know that it can get better, but you have to let someone know. There are people out there who want to help. I want to raise more awareness about what really goes on. It is even worse now with social media and technology. There are so many ways to hurt someone. Just because someone is different does not mean that they are any less of a person. You do not have to be everyone's friend, just stand up for them and for yourself. Let everyone know that it is not ok. The smallest pebble can make ripples in a large lake once it is dropped.  Drop your pebble and make the ripples in your school and in your life.

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