Getting Used to It

I am Iyana and I have been bullied ever since I was little. I was always made fun of because of my weight. I was always called the most mean and nasty things. When I'm in public and I get made fun of I just shrug it off off and laugh even though deep down. It hurt me. I fell like I am in a hard shell and people are just throwing rocks at me and I just think the shell that keeps me sane will just crack and break open. I would be venerable to all of it. I was always called mean things but the most common was "fattie" and "fat ass". I have a nick name and it's Lil' Hershey but when people make fun of me they also say "thick" Hershey and it hurts it really does but when I do what the teachers tell me. I ignore them. But yet they just come back and they hit me harder with their mean words. It's gotten to the point where I would cry in front of my friends and not tell them what's wrong. Then I started just to cry to my self. Then I just didn't cry at all. Like I was used to it. Like I just cried myself dry. I never talked about this to anyone. I just felt feelings and now it's like I am numb to all pain. Since I have no feeling it's kind of like not caring so I never felt the need to talk to anyone about it. Once a kid was making fun of my weight and saying I was ugly because of it. But the I just said "You know how when particles are heated they vibrate and expand?" The person said "Yeah so?" I laughed and said "Then you would know that I ma not fat, I am just hot." It kinda sucks to be bullied so much to just kinda be used to it. 

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