From kindergarten to 8th grade

Hi, my name is Rachel and I'm only 13 years old. I'm from a very small city in Ohio. Every since kindergarten I remember people making fun of me because of my last name, my weight, and how different I am. I would come home and would go straight to my bedroom and cry. 

Then things started to get better around 4th grade, only because a girl named Kay took me in as a friend, she thought I was just like everyone else, everyone wanted to be friends with Kay so the fact that she choice me as a bestfriend made everyone start to like me. Then 5th grade rolled around and me and Kay had no classes together, I had gotten glasses over the summer, I never wore anything but sweats and my hair in a giant bun. Once again I was alone.. Kay soon found a new bestfriend. She punched me one day for talking. Then when I tried to tell on her she told the principal it was my fault. I got in trouble and wasn't aloud to go near her or Kay ever again. 

6th grade came around, Kay had moved. This year was different. I started to wear my hair down and straight with cute clothes. People started to notice me. It was such a weird feeling, everyone wanted to talk to me, and sit with me at lunch and in class, boys liked me and girls wanted to hang out with me outside of school! Soon people were calling me the popular girl! Then that summer came, I started to get scared of all the attention. It was so much pressure for a girl who use to be a nobody. Yeah yeah, it sounds great! But it wasn't...everyone wanted me to be perfect, and i couldn't! So I stayed home, I didn't eat, and I started to cut. The same girl that punched me in 5th grade told me to kill myself, she said that I was dirt under everyone's feet, that I was worthless and no one would miss me. 

In 7th grade we moved over to the middle school where we merged with another Elm. school. The cutting got worse, and a teacher sent me to the councilor. Soon the whole school knew about it. I coudn't walk down the hallway without someone yelling "EMO" or "ATTENTION WHORE" and stuff like that. But gladly that all dyed down. But soon after that people started calling me fake, wanna be barbie, bitch, whore, slut, and plastic. I was diagnosed with social anxiety, depression, and BDD. 

And now we're to the present, summer before 8th grade. I joined this website called People can get on and ask you questions anonymously or with their username. I started to get hate on there too. People telling me to kill myself, and just saying awful things. I met this guy in 7th grade, he cheated on me twice. After the first time I too him back, but then all my friends left me. Me and that guy were at a festival and I walked inside to go to the restroom and when i came back out I got ink and trash thrown at me while people cussed me out and yelled about how I'm trash, the people doing it use to be my best friends. I went home and relapsed that night. School starts in 2 weeks, I have no one. Im scared


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