FREAK

Umm..to start off i should really say a few things about me. My name is seita, i'm 15 years old and I live in England. I'm about average in pretty much everything, looks,weight,height. I was never bothered about how I looked when I was a little younger. Whilst most girls would spend their time trying to look pretty and apply make up correctly. I spent my time drawing anime and writing fanfictions. I also did quite a lot of roleplay on facebooks in little groups with people i'd met over the internet. However because I was deemed as 'different' by everyone else because I didn't like the same things they did they thought that was a good enough reason to start picking on me. At first it was only small comments and remarks that I could easily brush off withought caring at all but after a few months they comments got harsher and harsher, they started to steal all my stuff, draw over my books and write awful things all over pretty much anything I owned. I did have quite a few friends at the time but when it came to the subject of bullying they didn't seem to care, they only stood by and watched. Halfway through my 3rd year of highschool I decided to get my hair cut short. Basically because I couldn't be bothered to mess about with my extremely long hair at the time. So the next day I have in to school with all my hair chopped off and the first thing someone said to me was 'you look like a lesbain' and for a about 5 months more and more rumors spread about me being a lesbain. People would whisper it as a walked by or shouted it out if I was near. But guess what? No one even tried to help or stand up to them so I had to do it myself. The worse thing was at the time, i'm actually bisexual so if I told them that then they would bully me more so I kept it a secret until this year, I told my so called 'best friend' that I was Bi and asked her not to tell anyone. However when I got to school afterwards everyone knew, she'd told them everything. People were laughing and mocking me, saying they knew it all along. I got so upset I hid in the girls toilets pretty much all day. On the way home I was stopped by a few kids in my year and they started pushing me about until I lost it and tackled one of them to the floor, punching him as hard as I could. I got pulled off by his friends and heard the sound of snipping, I had grown my hair so it had reached my shoulders over the past year and now they'd just cut it all off again, saying that if I was Bi I should at least look like one. This happened around a month ago and its still happening now, they won't drop it and I really don't know what to do. I've tried cutting my wrists and hanging a few times but I always get to scared last minute. I really don't know what to do anymore...I'm just that outcast that no one really cares about, a freak

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