Bullying and what it did to me

I am 36 years old now but back when I was a kid I was bullied alot from the age of 6 up to the age of 18 from grade one to grade 11 and I went through alot.  It first started whine I was in grade one moved to a new town and we were the first family from out of town that moved in.  I was in grade one when I had a accident in class because the teacher wouldn't let me out of class to go to the bathroom that's when it all started.  I would go to school and the kids would start to point and laugh and then the name calling started then we moved back to where we were living before that and it was all right no picking no name calling just a lot of people that hung around with then two years after went and moved back to the other town where I was getting picked on as it was closer to my fathers work.  I kinda thought everyone would have forgotten about grade one and they had until the teacher asked me well do u know anyone in class and well everyone had changed looks by then and I said nope at first so she said what dummy and said to me dog to the other side of the room where the dumb kids are and I would have to take resource to help me in my dumbness I almost cried because I knew I was smart my grades always proved it. Then the next day the kids started again I was picked on about being stupid. The names never left at all I was called dummy, dozy, stupid and a few others my teacher that year was just as bad she picked on me all year long and said that if she wasn't leaving the school that year she would have failed me so she could tourture me for another year I went home after getting my end of the year report card and threw it and went to my room and cried we always did that routine every day go home do my work and cry because I was badly picked on.  I was always shy but it didn't Take long to get out of that after getting picked on.  Now I had endure that all the time and then when I got bused to school because I had to be bused to jr and high school I had clods kicking my seat spitting in my hair and I also had one person put hair spray in my hair to make sure it stayed there.  I would always go home never tell anyone what was going on I would go upstairs shower do homework and cry every day before going to sleep.  But in grade 11 before my 18 th birthday to be precise two days before I couldn't handle it anymore and tried to end my life because I couldn't handle being picked and it wasn't my first time I tried I tried in grade 7 but it didn't work but in grade 11 I took alot of pills of my moms but just before I passed out it dawned on me I know I wouldn't be picked on the kids would be happy but my family would be devastated my mom and dad and sisters would probably not be able to cope so I told my mother what I did but not why she found out later when I went to a shrink after I went to the hospital had my stomach pumped.  I later transferred  schools and lived with dad in another town my mother thought it would be better for me and it was I had friends and never got picked on.  The thing is when your getting picked on talk to someone a parent a counsellor at school anyone is better than keeping it to yourself it eats you if u don't.  I am glad now do told someone back then I have two beautiful kids a loving bf I still think of what I went thru and I think if I hadn't talk to someone I wouldn't have lived to have my kids life my life I have now.  Kids if u are getting bullied talk to someone anyone is better.  I don't let anything or anyone bother me now I stand up for what's right.

 

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