Being different.

   So first i wanna tell you about me. My favorite color is black. i love almost any kind of music. i hate running and sports. i like sleeping and being on the internet like every teen. i like movies and shopping. I like food and eat like a cow. My parents are divorced. I'm sarcastic. my natural hair color is blonde. i have one best friend. i have five stepbrothers, two half brothers, and two sisters. 


When i was little i didnt have friends. I was shy, quiet, and VERY withdrawn. I just just there, and no one really noticed me. I thought that was just fine, because i sort of liked being alone. 

  But moving on. As i got older i still had no friends. I passed all through almost four years of school with no friends. But one day, i met my best friend kayla. She has been here for me since. In fact, just tjis should make you think well... she isnt bullied at all! but the real point to this story is this: 

  When I was in sixth grade i got my first REAL boyfriend. His name was Gavin. At first i thought he was great! but as time went by he forced me into sending bad pictures, and making me change. I started wearing a lot of black and becoming more outgoing. 

  The worst part about him was that he faked suicides. Broke up with me and said he was kidding. Thats what changed me most. In fact it got so bad i started cutting to makke myself feel better. It wasn't bad at first, just scraches. 

  But after ten months of being depressed and alone, we broke up. But even then the depression stayed. The next year was 7th grade. Thsi year. 

  I started dating his best friend aaron but that was a while ago. while i was dating Aaron it got worse. He hurt me, told me he was gonna get me drunk, and wanted me to smoke. (which i didn't do) 

  When Aaron and i broke up Gavin thought that i was the one that hurt him. So he started getting on facebook and commentign on everything i posted. 

  He posted things like, "Don't lie Bitch!" and "Go cut. No one would care." or "You're so ugly. Go die."  

  Thats what pushed me to the edge. I tried to kill myself because everyday there was a new comment, or message from him.  

   The cuts got deeper, because now I bleed when i cut. I have scars. I cry. But no one knows because i fake a smile and say i'm okay. 

  thats my story. 

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  • Ryan Knowles
    commented 2013-04-11 17:52:11 -0400
    Ashley, First of all, thank you so much for being so incredibly brave and sharing your story. One thing that is so important right now, is that you go an speak to an adult about what is going on in your life. Someone you can trust, who you know will listen to you, a teacher, parent, mother of a friend. Take a look through the other stories on our page, there are so many people here who can help you, demonstrate that no person controls your life more than you, and that you can rise above the stupidity and ignorance exerted by a couple boys who clearly do not know right from wrong. This life throws lessons at us, some harder than others, but the most beautiful thing about it is how we can grow from those moments, good and bad. Please do look through the other stories on our page and reach out to those who you feel you can connect with, it goes an incredibly long way!

    Stay strong my dear!

    All my best,

    The Bully Project Team