Ever since I was little I had a sensitive problem. I would cry over the smallest things in the world. Kids would always laugh at me, call me a big baby, push me around. I would always be called ugly, tiny, weak, and I was pointless in life. I've never loved being alive and sometimes I still don't. After 6th grade I killed all my emotions and didn't care about life anymore. I joined physical sports because I grew the love for pain. Since I was the tiniest teammate on my jr. high basketball team, it was easy for the other teams players to throw me down and hurt me because that's all I felt. In the 9th grade I started cutting myself and I also started having suicidal dreams. I started smoking and not caring about anybody not even myself. I have attempted suicide 10+ times and glad it never worked. I am now in the 11th grade in a high school/college. At the end I get an associates degree in Science of Architecture and a high school diploma. I have a boyfriend that loves me for me and not because of my awful past. I am so glad that I am still alive because I would have never met someone so wonderful and nice to me.