Battleground

Hello, my name is Jay and I'm 24 years old and a sailor in the United States Navy. As far back as I can remember, I was bullied as a child. I developed acne at a very young age and was obese for a long time. This gave kids at my elementary school, all the way to high school, reasons to bully me.

I was invited out to play sports with them such as football, only to be given the ball numerous times so they can tackle me. I've had them hold me down and spray me with a water hose, pull my pants down at school and push me down when I went to pull them up. I've been verbally abused, physically abused and what hurt most was the mental abuse.

I was told by these kids that nobody ever loved me, that I was worthless and insignificant, and I'd never amount to anything. When I went to teachers, principals or my parents, they all said I wasn't trying hard enough to fit in.

I realized that this was no longer a school, but a battleground. Everyday I found myself looking over my shoulder, hoping the next beating or assault wasn't coming. I could even recall an instance where one kid hit me with a baseball bat one time....it was one of the roughest times of my life.

The bullying caused depression. It caused anxiety. It caused me to be constantly searching for who I was as a person because I tried so hard to fit in and would compromise so much about myself, and in the long run, losing touch with who I am as a person. I was bullied for being different, and when I changed, I thought it would stop. I thought conformity would help, but it just kept coming.

It wasn't until my sophomore year of high school, I took a stand. I stood up to people who tormented me. I found ground to stand on, ground enough to look at these people in their faces and tell them "No. I'm not going to take it.".

I am a bully survivor. I know there's a lot of kids out there who took their lives because of it, and if there is anyone out there thinking of taking theirs because of what bullies do to them, I'm telling you, you have it in you to overcome it and become a stronger, better and smarter person from it. Remember that taking your life is not the way and you are worth it! There are people out there who care for and love you and you are perfect the way you are. Don't ever compromise yourself or who you are for the acceptance of others because this is the time for change.

Remember that bullying can stop if we try. It is not impossible because you ARE possible.

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