Always near death, but never quite there.

Being bullied is one of the worst things that anyone can go through, it tears your life apart and pulls you away from society. You loose the sense of feeling and become distant from the world around you. This is my story.

It all started when I was younger, I had a very rough upbringing as a child so when I started going to school I was much different than the other kids. I didn't know how to fit in, I was always different and I never really used to understand what people were saying to me.
Since Kindergarten, I learnt how to fake having friends around me. Even though each and everyday I was getting treated like a whole different person, I was smiling like everything was okay. Through years 1-6 the kids at my school weren't too bad and each and everyone of us got along.

As high school started, I moved to an all girls school. Thinking that the girls I hung out with in the earlier years would sit and play with me so I wouldn't have to make new friends. Not even a week into starting school my bestfriend turned on me because the girls who she was hanging out with didn't like me, so she pretended she didn't either. They tried to figure out ways to get rid of me from their group and would constantly tease me about everything I said or did. Even though I hardly slipped any words.

It continued going on and on for years, I was left alone and was forced to sit by myself where I couldn't be seen. When people walked past me, they would push me over and think of ways to make fun of me.
This continued through year 7 to year 10 and in that time I had cut myself over 200 times and attempted suicide almost 6 times. 
After moving schools to start college, I learnt to not make friends because I knew that I was such an easy target to hit.

I just don't understand why.. Each person I come across seems to think it's okay to treat me differently or push me as a 'joke' and not seem to care or reaslise what they are actually doing.

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